Milk Eggs Etc.
Most people go shopping with a list.
Even if you don’t have a physical list, you have one in your brain.
Even if you don’t know what you want, you have an idea of what’s good and what’s not.
If you are standing in a room, looking out across the sea of romantic opportunities, you know what looks good, and what doesn’t.
When you are standing in front of the multiplex, trying to figure out what movie to see, you have an idea of what you like and what you don’t like.
Your entire history as a self aware human have been choosing between what you want and what you don’t want.
Some of this has been rational and objective.
Some of this has been subconscious and intuitive.
Many relationships fall into the trap of not choosing.
It’s cool when it starts, you feel good just being around each other.
But pretty soon it gets stale.
You drive around asking each other:
You Choose
“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
Studies have been done on how much choice we have, vs. the ability to make a decision.
The sweet spot is about 5 or so items.
Too many and we can’t choose.
Kind of like you’re in a restaurant, and looking at all the choices.
The reason for an inability to choose is twofold.
One, most of us don’t have a very clear outcome.
If you only want to eat something good, that is a vague outcome.
What If I Want Something Else?
The second reason is something called “opportunity costs.”
As soon as you choose the burrito, you CAN’T have the tacos.
As soon as you walk up and try your luck with the brunette, you CAN’T choose the blonde.
So it’s easy to have this weak self talk:
“Yeah, but what if I go for X, but it doesn’t turn out so good?”
This kind of thinking is common and easy.
But it’s also very, very deadly.
No, the waitress is going to kill you if you don’t order within five minutes.
But your life isn’t unlimited.
Time Slipping By
Every single second, the seconds LITERALLY are ticking away.
Think of it from a crappy relationship perspective.
The LONGER you stay in a crappy relationship, the LESS LIKELY it will be to find a good one.
The LONGER you stay in a crappy job, the less likely you’ll find a good one.
Sure it’s easy and safe and comfortable to tell yourself that “when a good one DOES come along, you’ll choose it.”
Life generally doesn’t work like that.
Nobody ever built a fantastic relationship or a career by waiting around for “it” to come along.
You’ve got decide what you want.
And be willing to make the tough decisions.
Otherwise you may be waiting a while.
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