That Guy
How many ways to people judge us?
Judge isn’t the nicest word, but we “judge” each other all the time.
A more appropriate description of this would be a much longer, “get data from us to come up with an approximation of who we are.”
We see people and we come up with any idea of who they are.
How do we do this?
How they look, based on an overall impression.
Clothes, body, face, etc.
How they behave, are they nervous or confident, etc.
This is the famous “first” impression.
Then maybe we’ll talk to them.
This adds to our first impression.
Get More Data
Once we cross the conversational threshold, how do we get more data?
How they talk, what they talk about, the kinds of emotions they project while they are talking about whatever they are talking about.
Do they seem to have genuine self esteem and confidence, or are they faking?
Do they seem like an interesting person who is genuinely interested in a mutually beneficial relationship?
Or are they smooth talking players and only want something FROM us?
The flip side of this is also true.
Everybody is “judging” us this way as well.
And we know this.
This next idea isn’t really a happy one, but here we go.
Not everybody has room in their brain for infinite friends.
Not everybody has room in their bed for infinite lovers.
Never Ending Competition
So everybody IS competing with everybody else.
We don’t think this consciously, but there it is.
When you talk to a cute guy or girl, they are comparing YOU to everybody else.
Not really everybody.
But the last people they talked to in the past week or so.
Kind of like a personality “moving average.”
And how you compare to that personality moving average will make or break you.
Luckily, most people suck today.
Most people have very weak conversational skills.
Most people are pretty shallow and not so genuine.
In sales and marketing, they have something called a USP.
Unique Selling Proposition.
Your Unique Trait
The ONE THING your product has that no other product has.
The same goes for interacting socially.
Now, very few people think of mingling with strangers through the frame of “marketing your personality.”
It does, however, work the same way.
And since most people have very weak, “friendly conversations with attractive strangers” game, why not make THAT your USP?
To talk to them in a way that is different than everybody else?
To talk to them in a way that will create genuine good feelings in their brain?
To combine aspects of humor with conversational hypnosis?
This will make anybody you speak with feel fantastic.
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