Deep Protection
Imagine you have a friend.
A potential romantic partner.
You’ve been on a couple of dates and your slowly getting closer.
You really like this person.
You are starting to really care about this person.
You feel good when they are happy.
You feel bad when they are unhappy.
Kind of like watching a really good movie, with very well written characters.
When the characters are happy, you are happy.
When the characters are in trouble, you feel anxious.
Deeper and Deeper
Anyhow, on the third date, your friend reveals they are terrified of clowns.
Maybe when they were a kid, they were at the circus or a carnival and got separated from their parents.
And some clowns, thinking they were having fun, chased them around, terrorizing them.
Scarring them for life.
So imagine you and your friend are walking down the street.
Holding hands.
They are in a good mood and their eyes are all over the place.
Looking at the shops, the food stalls etc.
You are leading them.
Walking up ahead.
You turn the corner and you see a couple of clowns trying to get people to come into some shop.
What do you do?
True Leader Response
Turn the corner and hope for the best?
Stop, tell them there are clowns and ask what they want to do?
And say, “Hey, let’s go over here and check that place out,” and pull them AWAY from the clowns without mentioning anything.
After all even mentioning that there are clowns about might ruin their day.
Many people would mistakenly mention the clowns and explain why you’re going in a different direction.
We humans tend to want credit for our decisions to help others.
But wanting credit or recognition is not really true leadership.
True leadership is doing what’s right for others without needing any thanks or conscious acknowledgement of what you did.
Max Power
This is the kind of leadership frame that people naturally follow.
Now, what about the clown?
This is a goofy example of a KNOWN inner fear.
Something you KNOW about the person you are with.
We could easily flip it around to a known desire.
The approach is the same.
Lead them to their desires without telling them, hoping to get some credit.
You know what they want, you know what they don’t want, and you be the leader.
Leading Their Lives
Leading them away from what they don’t want.
Leading them to what they do want.
So they can relax and enjoy the ride.
Luckily, we all have the same basic fears and desires inside is, making this much easier than most will ever realize.
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