How’s everything going? Been persuading a lot of people?
One thing that’s essential is rapport. Whether you’re asking somebody to buy a $50,000 car or asking your boss if you can leave ten minutes early.
Almost everybody’s heard of it.
Which means most people immediately think, “Oh, THAT. I already know THAT.”
Don’t make that mistake. It’s one of those risk / reward things.
It doesn’t take much to review that “basics,” but if you don’t know them as well as you think you do? It could cost you plenty.
Plenty of people have heard of golf, but can’t play it to save their lives.
(I know I can’t)
Same goes with rapport. Makes sense. Easy enough to understand. But unless you’re consciously creating it, or unconsciously falling into it, it’s not likely happening.
When it’s unconscious, it’s natural. Friends, family, people you already know well or otherwise “click” with. Those very folks whom you don’t need to worry about rapport with.
It’s those OTHER people you’ve got to pay attention to.
So, a quick review.
What is it? A feeling of connection. You feel safe with somebody. You let your guard down. Like if you were in a foreign country where they didn’t speak English, and you got lost. Then suddenly you saw somebody you recognized from your tour group. Even if you’d never said one word to them, you’d feel a deep sense of rapport.
A feeling of connection. A feeling of having something in common.
You feel like you are like them, and they feel like they are like you.
When you can create this with a stranger, every persuasion will be much, much easier.
So how do you do it? Very, very simple.
Don’t worry about asking questions or looking for “similar interests.” Just talk about whatever.
But when you’re talking, match their “model of the world” as much as you can.
Copy how they sit or stand. Speak at the same rate they do. Position your body like theirs. When they cross their legs, you cross yours.
This is very powerful.
Once I had this girlfriend. Her older brother was the “man” of the family. After we’d dated for a few months, he wanted to have a “sit down.” To make sure I was good enough for his little sis.
One problem. He didn’t speak English.
But for somebody who knows how to create deep rapport on an unconscious level? Not a problem at all.
While me and my gf talked, I covertly matched his body language at the dinner table. When he moved I moved. When he took a deep breath, I took a deep breath. After an hour of that, I won glowing “approval” from the family.
In like Flynn.
No words needed.
Try it, and see how powerful it is.