No Signals
One common idea from “self help” is that the wake doesn’t drive the boat.
This is a kind of cool sounding metaphor, but it doesn’t help much.
The things that happened to us in our past have a huge impact on how we see and interpret the future.
In fact, psychologist and philosopher William James said that the ONLY thing we CAN reference in dealing with the future IS our past.
This is baked into the cake of our DNA.
Most animals have a ton of pre-programmed instincts and maybe a little bit of learning.
We have tons of both.
We have a bunch of wired in instincts.
But we also have, essentially, unlimited learning capacity.
We had to have had this.
In our past, we were always wandering around to different environments.
“We” humans have learned how to grow food, or hunt effectively, in every environment that exists.
We go through life, and we have experiences.
Learn From Mistakes
Both good and bad.
We learn from the things that don’t work as much as the things that do.
These experiences help us move forward.
So for us to thrive the “wake” MUST have a hue impact on the “boat.”
The problem is life is much, much more complex than it used to be.
So we get a lot of “false learning’s” as we go through life.
Which means we have a lot of useless data in our brains.
Consider how we deal with social signals.
Positive social signals feel good.
Negative social signals feel bad.
This USED to be helpful.
We got positive signals when we helped out our tribe.
Signals from people we’d lived with our entire lives and knew INTIMATELY.
We got negative signals when we endangered the tribe.
Signals from people we’d lived with our entire lives and knew INTIMATELY.
Today, most social signals we get come from strangers, or at least from people we barely know.
Not So Powerful
And they are far, far less meaningful than they used to be.
Way back in the day, we’d get a lot of love from the tribe if we killed a huge animal that would feed everybody for a couple weeks.
Today, we get a lot of love from the “tribe” if we tell as silly joke that make people laugh and feel good for a few seconds.
You can free yourself from the trap of false social signals, both positive and negative.
Just do a bit of daily journaling, and watch all social anxiety fade into your past.
Learn How:
Custom History
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