Back Scratchers
One of the laws of persuasion is the law of reciprocity.
It’s built in to our DNA.
Even when used manipulatively, it still works.
Like the Hare Krishna’s back in the day.
They would give people a flower, and then ask for money.
For some reason when somebody does something nice for us, we feel compelled to return the favor.
Evolutionary psychologists believe this is an ancient trait that promotes tribal cohesion.
Maybe even before humans.
Like when primates take turns picking the bugs out of each other’s hair.
We keep score of favors.
And we don’t like owing anybody a favor.
Maybe even more so when the person doing us the favor is the sketchy type.
Like we don’t mind owing favors to friends and family.
We know we’ll “pay them back” and so do they.
Dollar Flower
But when some weird hippie shows up and hands us a flower, we want to get rid of that “debt” as soon as possible.
So, in the world of reciprocity, there are genuine and friendly ways to apply it, and sleazy ways to apply it.
If you are friendly and genuine, doing favors for people feels good.
Particularly when you don’t care if you ever see them again.
This is a great way to build up genuine self confidence.
To see yourself as somebody who genuinely makes the world a better place just by being in it.
Other people do things like giving compliments, but ONLY because they want the reciprocal effect.
And these types only seem to give compliments to attractive people.
Or people that the compliment giver WANT something from.
This is the Hare Krishna style of reciprocity.
Selfish Way
Giving ONLY so they can get.
But when you give freely, the benefit is how you feel.
Which enhances this effect.
Which makes you like yourself more.
Which makes you like being in the world more.
Which naturally leads to more attraction and attractiveness.
Everybody likes being around people who like themselves.
Not a lot of people like being around sleazy types who are ONLY nice so they can get something in return.
What, specifically, can you “give?”
Your attention, your smile, your natural humor, your presence.
This is the secret to natural and continuous attraction.
Unforced and reciprocal attraction.
Congruent Bliss
To just relax, enjoy being yourself, and enjoy sharing yourself.
To be truly outcome independent.
To enjoy the moment, and let whatever happens, happen.
Learn How:
Congruence
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