You Get Me
One very common movie trope is when two people fall in love.
And one of the characters, usually the lady, feels that the guy really “gets” her.
This is a very special feeling.
We have all been programmed to be a little bit gun shy when expressing ourselves.
They say that between the ages of zero and two, we are all encouraged to walk and talk.
But after two, sometimes called the “terrible two’s” we are encouraged to sit down and be quiet.
So we all have a kajillion experiences of speaking, usually in terms of what we want, and being told to zip it.
Which means that unless we have a LOT of experiences overriding that (at school with other kids and VERY helpful teachers) we all have a bit of social anxiety.
Very few people feel comfortable calling attention to themselves.
Very few people feel confident giving a speech.
Very few people feel comfortable starting a conversation with attractive and interesting strangers.
Expression Causes Fear
All because of these common “cause effect” experiences.
Expressing ourselves or our desires LEADS TO a negative outcome.
So even if you do happen to get the ball rolling, your conversational partner is going to be a bit reluctant to be overt and outgoing with their deepest desires.
This is why getting to know people takes a while.
This is why silly questions like “tell me about yourself” are a bit off the mark.
Very few people will feel comfortable and confident enough telling you about themselves.
At least beyond superficial levels.
Even more so when it comes to their deepest dreams and life’s ambitions.
This is why it usually takes a while to really “get” somebody.
Unless, of course, you’ve got a couple of conversational tricks up your sleeve.
One is the simple question process that makes it VERY EASY to talk about themselves.
This requires that YOU do most of the talking and the thinking.
This requires that YOU withhold all judgment, even some “positive” judgment.
This requires that YOU understand just a little bit about the structure of the human experience.
Not Automatic
These three “strategies” do require a bit of a learning curve.
But once you master these simple strategies, you can “get” anybody in just a few minutes.
Giving them a wonderful experience they will never forget.
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