Love Origin Story
Let’s do a mental experiment.
Let’s imagine you are at a social gathering.
And you see somebody.
They are, at least physically, your perfect type.
They catch you looking at them and they smile.
You are feeling pretty confident.
You smile back.
You play the eye contact flirtation game for a while and feel pretty good.
Then they take a deep breath, look at you directly, and make an approach.
They come over.
They’re clearly nervous.
You’re clearly nervous.
But you manage to have a decent conversation.
You talk for a long time.
About many things.
Vibe Like Crazy
You end up spending the night together.
Next day you mention your experience to your friends.
They ask you:
“What did you talk about all night?”
And you honestly can’t remember.
You just say, “All kinds of things.”
You can’t remember.
And, it’s not really important.
But, WHY, specifically is it not important?
Because humans are emotional creatures.
We vibe emotionally with each other.
Not intellectually.
Not unless we are performing surgery or are helping a stand-in pilot-citizen make an emergency landing.
The words that float up on top of our emotions are SECONDARY to our emotions.
Because in this imagination, you and your new crush were “vibing” perfectly with each other.
You both felt good.
Confident, safe, outgoing.
Emotional Domination
This led you to CONGRUENTLY express your emotions.
To congruently express your positive emotions.
And when you two people with romantic potential are SHARING a whole bunch of overlapping, congruently expressed positive emotions, life doesn’t get much better.
Words, in this scenario, are utterly irrelevant.
This is very, very common.
For the words to take second place to the frame.
The congruence.
The belief in the words, whatever they happen to be.
But because this is a hard thing to understand for most people, most people don’t think about this.
To think about these abstract ideas like frame, and belief, and congruence.
But these deeper ideas, these abstract ideas are almost ALWAYS way more important than the words.
Or even the ideas the words make up.
In fact, between somebody with a GREAT idea but a weak frame, and somebody with a so-so idea but a STRONG frame, people choose the strong frame.
Frame Trumps All
Every.
Single.
Time.
The idea that the frame is around is so overpowered by the frame through which it is delivered, it can even by a copied or recycled idea.
What does this mean?
This mean that every idea you have in your brain, right now, is already good enough.
All you need to do is express it through a strong enough frame, and you will win EVERYBODY over.
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