Train Wreck
There are a lot of problems in today’s society.
Many of them can be attributed to something called “instinct mismatch.”
Hunger is the easiest to spot.
Back in the day, having an uncontrollably STRONG desire to eat was a benefit.
Whoever had the strongest desire to eat would have the strongest desire to FIND something to eat.
This would make them survive more than only so-so hungry people.
But this same instinct is extremely dangerous today.
And unless you have a REALLY good reason, like GUARANTEED money or sex, it’s nearly impossible to “just” ignore hunger.
Another ancient instinct that helped us like crazy before but is pretty insidious today is the “idea contest.”
Dudes would always argue over who had the best idea to get food.
To kill a big enough animal to feed everybody.
This was not easy.
Sticks and Stones
A bunch of dudes killing a big animal with a bunch of sticks is dangerous.
So whoever had the best IDEA how to do that, and presented that idea with the strongest frame AND that idea happened to work, that dude would be KING.
He would provide necessary food TO the rest of the tribe.
And in exchange, they would give him a bunch of social validation, rock star treatment, and sex.
Today, just like we are hard wired to have super strong hunger, we are hard wired to engage in “opinion battles” or “idea battles.”
Back then, all the people battling for idea or opinion supremacy had the SAME OUTCOME.
Kill the animal, feed the tribe, get the rock star rewards.
But today, there is rarely any agreed upon outcome.
Only that YOUR IDEA is better than THEIR IDEA.
Which is fine if your hanging out with your friends.
Competing based on humor, put downs, sarcastic descriptions of our train wreck society.
But when it comes to persuasion, this INSTINCT will destroy your chances.
Your IDEA is that they “should” do what you want.
Their IDEA is that they “should” do what they want.
This is a very, very tough idea battle to win.
But within it are the seeds of success.
Lead With Them
The reason it’s hard to win is everybody LOVES their own ideas.
Everybody thinks their own ideas are better than everybody else’s ideas.
So you can use this to your advantage.
First, turn off your own ideas.
Or turn off your desire to convince them of the validity of your ideas.
Instead, bring out their ideas.
Make them as big and powerful as you can.
Then figure out how to describe YOUR ideas but in TERMS of their ideas.
Do this and persuasion, seduction, and even random conversations with strangers will be much, much more pleasant and productive.
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