Whenever you’re selling something or aiming to convince somebody of your way of thinking, it’s common to be afraid of objections.
Many times, hearing an objection feels the same as getting rejected.
They might as well look you in the eye and say ,”that’s the stupidest idea you’ve ever had!”
Which feels like them saying, “You are stupid for having such an idea!”
After all, most of the time we come up with an idea, it’s largely based on our subjective beliefs and opinions about ourselves, so when we express our ideas to others, objections can be hard to deal with.
It’s natural to be a little gun shy when asking for something, or suggesting some.
We tend to “soften” our approach a bit.
One thing that can help is to realize that any objection that anybody else has has absolutely nothing to do with us, and completely to do with them.
Everybody sees the world through their own subjective filter. They choose to do or not do things based on their own subjective reasons, most of which are largely unknown even to them.
So when you suggest something, and they give you a reason why it’s not such a good idea, they’re basically just telling you about their own model of the world, not yours.
The best thing to do then, is not to try and argue with them, or outframe them, or use any kind of tricky language patterns, but to just agree with their objection. Even tell them they’re smart for having it.
Often times, this is enough to destroy it.
Why?
Because often times, anytime somebody expresses an objection, it’s really just about one of their fears bubbling up to the surface.
And most of the time, when we express a fear, we’re really just looking for validation. Somebody to tell us that having that fear is normal, and that’s it’s still OK.
Try this out next time, when you’re suggesting something not related to money or any kind of life changing event.
You say you want to do X. Somebody else says they don’t because of Y.
You say, “Yes, that’s absolutely correct. That’s a very good point. I agree with you about Y. [pause] And I really want to X. What do you think?”
It may sound a bit contradictory, but often times this is all you need.