Let Them Be
One common complaint from kids is:
“I can do it!”
This is a necessary instinct.
Kids can’t become players unless they are productive.
And a drive to do it alone is necessary to be productive.
At every point in somebody’s life, they need to realize it’s really them and the world.
When the time for referring to authorities is over.
You make a decision, you take an action, and you get the results.
If it worked, it’s all you.
If it didn’t work, it’s all you.
Of course, very few people make this transition.
To become fully self responsible.
It’s not even possible.
Don’t Ignore The Man
Plenty of religious cults have gotten into trouble by refusing to acknowledge legal authorities.
If you ALWAYS needed to do things your own way without EVER asking for help, you’d end up with a ton of stress, and very few friends.
But this, “I can do this” instinct lives in everybody.
Many times, we hide this from ourselves.
This self generated actor that is potentially our greatest strength.
And as many mythologies explain, we hide our greatest strength under our greatest fears.
This is the most frustrating thing about giving advice to friends.
We can see, from the outside looking in, exactly what they should do.
But they have a different view.
A distorted view.
Their fears are much bigger than they realize.
Their strength of pure agency is hiding down beneath those fears.
So their problem is expressed as something being wrong with “the world.”
They overstate the obstacles “out there.”
And they under appreciate the strength “in here.”
Secret Sauce
This was Erickson’s Genius.
The master storyteller.
The secret hypnotizer-healer from the wheelchair.
He would tell stories in a very, very confusing way.
So the patient would have ZERO idea what had just happened.
But then later, a week or so they would DISCOVER, the answer to their problems.
They would discover it and it would kick off the “I can do this on my own” feeling.
And they would remember making the decision to solve the problem on their own.
What Power
What problems would you like others to solve?
And remember it as their decisions?
Heal their soul?
Buy your product?
Become attracted to you?
Remember you as the most compelling cult leader they’d ever seen?
The sky’s the limit.
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