How To Talk To Girls
For a lot of guys, talking to girls is incredibly nerve wracking and potentially treacherous. Sure, talking to your buddies is easy, but when you suddenly find yourself in a conversation with a girl that can really spin your propeller, then there’s suddenly a lot at stake.
One of the most common feelings when things don’t go “right” is wondering what you did “wrong.” It’s easy to think you said something, or did something “wrong,” but in reality, if any approach doesn’t go well, it’s not a case of doing something “wrong,” it’s a case of doing something “boring.”
Before we talk about what to say, let’s first concern ourselves with how to say it. One thing that turns off any girl, whether you’ve known her for a few seconds or a few years, is a feeling that she’s got to “take care of you.”
Now, if you’re in a healthy relationship and you need a little extra tenderness and support, that’s one thing. But for the most part, when girls become attracted to guys (which happens on a completely unconscious level), it’s because she not only feels a bit submissive, but feels comfortable feeling submissive.
Now, I don’t mean submissive in a bad way, like “go make me a sandwich” submissive, or wear your wife beater and throw empty beer cans at her submissive.
I’m talking about a guy who can take charge. Take charge of your life, take charge of the conversation, and make her feel safe and protected, on an unconscious level. If you’re looking for her to be the dominant source of support and protection in the relationship, this will likely send most girls running for the hills.
So when you first start talking to her, she’s going to be looking (subconsciously) for clues about your general character and behavior. If after a few minutes she feels the need to control and maintain the conversation, she’ll lose interest quickly.
So the first rule is that whatever you talk about, you control the flow of the conversation. Before you walk over there, imagine that you’re a talk show host, and she’s a guest.
And what do good talk show hosts do? Do they rattle on and on about what they had for lunch, or how many guns they’ve got at home, or their amazingly alpha hobbies and past times?
They look to their guests themselves for clues of the conversation topics. They start off with some basic, easy to answer questions that won’t make anybody feel on the spot. Then they ask more probing questions based on their answers.
They pay attention to clues, like what words their guests say with more enthusiasm, and ask them for further information. They never contradict their guest or make them feel like they are wrong or inferior. They make them more and more comfortable, so they’ll be more relaxed and confident to talk about themselves.
And they become visibly impressed and appreciative of what their guests are talking about. They focus on them, and only on them. They don’t gaze around the room while they are talking.
So you see, finding good conversation topics is as easy as asking some simple questions, actually listening to the answers, and then asking some follow up questions.
Let your conversation partner be your guide, and you’ll never fail to impress them.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses all designed to make you a conversational and social super star.