Whenever we imagine talking to somebody and getting something from them, we’re usually of two minds.
On the one hand, we want whatever it is we want, which gives us the desire in the first place.
On the other hand, we fear being rejected, and ending up worse than we are. Maybe you want to ask your boss for a raise, or try and sell something to somebody, or ask that person on a date.
Maybe you’ve got a good thing going, and you don’t want to ruin it by asking for what you REALLY want.
Nothing’s worse than getting rejected, and then ending up worse than your started. Sometimes it feels like leaving well enough alone is the safest bet.
Of course, nobody ever gets much out of life by playing it safe. Dale Carnegie always referred to this in his many books and courses. The best fruit is out on the thinnest part of the limb, and sure thing boat never gets too far from sure, etc, etc.
Luckily, though, there are a couple of ways to make sure you not only increase your chances of getting what you want, while virtually guaranteeing that you’ll be better off than when you started, even if you DON’T get what you want.
The first step is to come up a couple of legitimate objections they might come up with. Then find out why they would have those objections. Then figure out a way to get what you want, while helping them satisfy the criteria underneath those objections.
Clearly, this takes some thinking, and there’s no “one size fits all” pattern than you can bust out with just anybody. Every situation and person is different, and you’ll have to learn your own specialized knowledge and insight.
But when you do, you will likely be pleasantly surprised.
When most people ask for things from other people, then don’t really think of the other person’s wants. They usually only think of their wants.
When you take the time to go through the above exercise, you are demonstrating that what the other person wants is just as important as what you want.
Which means even if they can’t give it to you, they’ll look at you in a much more positive light for asking the way you did.
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