Have you ever met somebody who was really charismatic?
Somebody that just walked into a room, and while you couldn’t really put your finger on it, they just seemed to be “attractive”?
It’s like you stopped in the middle of your conversation to look over at them, just to kind of find out what they were doing?
How does that work?
It’s both complicated, and simple.
Imagine this. You’re sitting there in Starbucks. Suddenly $100 pops out of nowhere, and falls to the ground.
Do you think you’d notice it? Do you think everybody else would?
Of course!
Everybody loves money, and everybody has something called a “pre-conscious processor.”
A pre-conscious what?
This is that part of your brain that filters every single thing that comes in through your senses. It has to decide, in about a half a second, what’s important, and what’s not important.
Stuff that ain’t important gets shuffled right down into your subconscious. This is stuff you don’t really notice until somebody points it out. Like the feeling in your left arm as you’re reading, or that slight hum in the background.
But that hundred dollar bill? Since money’s important, your pre-conscious processor brings it to your attention straight away. Just seeing something that looks like money, out of the corner of your eye, will snap your attention right to it.
Now, what does this have to do with that charismatic guy that just walked into the room?
There’s two things going on. One is that a person with charisma has oodles of self confidence. It slightly changes the way they walk, carry themselves, and their facial expressions. It’s kind of like they walk around with a “I know something good is about to happen” look about them.
And that’s another thing our pre-conscious processors are tuned into, happy, self-confident people. See, back in the early days of human history, if we only hung out with scared, timid folks, we wouldn’t have lasted very long.
We’re hard wired to be attracted to people who appear as though they can take whatever they want from the world with just a smile and a few words.
There’s something else going on as well.
When they walk into a room, everybody notices them.
So not only do we notice them, but we also notice everybody else noticing them.
And our pre-conscious processors pick up on this as well, giving us a double jolt of excitement.
Our quick, unconscious and automatic thought process goes like this:
“Wow, look at that cool person! Wow, everybody else is checking them out too! What if they came over and talked to me? That means everybody would be checking me out too! That would be AWESOME!”
Now, how can YOU get this charisma?
Easy!
Remember that attitude they seem to be carrying around with them? That something cool’s about to happen?
Why do they think that? Would they have that same attitude if they walked into an empty room?
Probably not
So what’s the source of this “something good” that they think’s about to happen?
Other people!
See, when they walk into a room, they don’t just see a bunch of people, they see potential treasure. After all, who knows what cool things and opportunities they are going to find simply by talking to other people.
Normal folks like us? Some people may seem friendly, some people may seem scary, so we’re a bit out of our element, especially if we’re by ourselves and walk into a room filled with strangers.
But as you well know, meaning isn’t set in stone. In fact, when you study NLP, it’s pretty easy to put any meaning you want on any situation (so long as you’re not trying to break the laws of physics.)
Try this next time you are surrounded by strangers.
Instead of looking for fear, or reasons to be timid, look for treasure.
After all, if you look for fear, you’ll find it.
But if you look for treasure? You’ll find it.
Look for treasure.
It’s everywhere!