If you’re in a relationship, you know how easily some seemingly simple conversation can turn into a big ugly fight.
It starts simple enough, you say something, they say something, then you misinterpret something they say, or you don’t quite say something the way you want to say it, so they misinterpret you.
This is what happens when we speak from a defensive posture.
Our first objective, usually unconsciously, is to keep from getting hurt.
So when we say something we “think” is neutral, it’s actually got some defensive patterns and voice tones kind of built it.
This is one of the reasons little kids are so adorable. They haven’t learned to fear people’s potential reactions to what they are saying.
They just spit it out.
That this causes attraction isn’t mysterious.
When you can speak naturally like this, not only will your messages be completely free from those “defensive measures” we use so often, but by speaking naturally and openly, you’ll be automatically giving others permission to do the thing.
All of us would love to express ourselves openly and fearlessly, but most of us would like others to go first, so we can see proof that it’s safe.
Somehow part of growing up means learning the myth that we can only take action and express ourselves if we have some kind of “proof” that we’ll be successful.
We only want to do things if we can easily imagine automatic success in our minds.
When we don’t, (which is most of the time) our brains suddenly develop genius levels of creativity and come up with a billion logical reasons why expressing ourselves really wouldn’t be a good idea.
After all, we don’t want to bother anybody, right?
They might not understand us, right?
We really don’t want to say what we wanted to say anyway, right?
If you’re ready to bust out of this trap, and show others how it’s done, check this out:
You’ll leave that negative BS behind and approach life with child like wonder and adult like skills.
Leave a Reply