Contradictions
There are a few paradoxes baked into the cake of self development.
These stem from our ancient instincts.
These are in many similar structures.
Like if you’re watching a movie, or TV show.
And you recognize an actor, but you don’t quite remember what other TV show or movie you’ve seen him in.
The harder you try, the harder it becomes.
Until you forget about it, and it kind of pops into your brain.
Or some people talk about getting certain outcomes.
Once they detach from outcome, the outcome shows up.
It’s pretty easy to see the mechanics during a regular conversation.
If you are truly outcome independent, you’ll relax and enjoy yourself.
You’ll be less nervous and more playfully outgoing.
This will increase the chances of getting your outcome.
But this is based on interpersonal communication.
Something that is more or less programmed into us.
Learned Skills Confusion
When it gets weird is when we are trying for other goals.
Financial goals, health goals, career goals, hobby goals, etc.
The common strategy is to build up a ton of motivation.
And then use that motivation to hopefully power you through the necessary steps.
But that initial motivation doesn’t last long.
It’s kind of like New Year’s Resolutions.
Everybody starts out like gangbusters, but then gives up after a few weeks.
Then they conclude they don’t have any “willpower” or they lack “motivation.”
I believe this to be absolutely false.
Consider instead the “automatic outcome” strategy.
Free Stuff?
This is very easy to misunderstand.
This CAN be misunderstood to be a “law of attraction” magic trick.
To sit around and wait for the law of attraction money fairy.
This is easiest to understand in terms of exercise.
Let’s say you a few dozen pounds overweight.
And you’d LOVE to run a 10K (6.2 miles) in UNDER 45 minutes.
From the motivation-willpower mindset, this is a HUGE goal that you mistakenly believe requires HUGE willpower and motivation.
You give a lot to get what you think is a lot.
But suppose you took a different approach.
To start as slowly as you possibly could.
To “detach” from that outcome of running a 10K in less than 45 minutes.
To start walking, and then jogging, and then jogging longer and faster.
You WILL get to the point where you can run a sub 45 minute 10K.
Auto Pilot Outcome
And it will feel completely NORMAL.
Like it’s no big deal.
You can achieve any goal through this model.
No stress, no worry, no outcome.
And just wait for it to kind of “happen” on it’s own.
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