Everything has costs.
Most things have benefits.
Whenever we do anything, we do a cost benefit analysis.
Most of this is subconscious, most of the time.
You can imagine a group of monkeys a long time ago.
Living in banana jungle.
Maybe there might have been some monkeys that thought it was a good idea to climb a 200 foot tree to get a banana, even though there were plenty of bananas on shorter trees.
Banana With A View
Maybe that particular monkey liked to eat bananas while enjoying the view.
But if the calories it costs to get that banana, up the 200 foot tree were MORE than the calories provided by that banana, the monkey would be net negative.
So, that monkey, and similar monkeys would have been slowly eliminated from the gene pool.
We have a similar instinct, or collections of instincts.
Ours are much, much more complicated.
But they are still bound by the laws of economics.
Everything costs something.
For every action, there are costs, and there are benefits.
And we humans won’t take any actions unless ALL the benefits and ALL the costs will result in a net positive outcome.
The problem with us humans is that many of the costs, in many situations, are purely imaginary.
Most Fears False
Mark Twain once said his worst fears never came true.
You see a lady across the room.
You would love to go talk to her.
Maybe even get a number and create a happy relationship.
That benefit would be FANTASTIC.
But for most people, the imaginary costs are HIGHER than the potential benefits.
But like mentioned before, we humans are very, very complex.
We have endless capacity to reframe pretty much anything.
This is represented by all our biases.
Balance In Your Favor
One way to increase the odds is to INCREASE the chances of success.
To increase your belief of potential success.
And decrease the chances of any kind of negative outcome.
Ideally, you’d want to be “pre-qualified” before doing anything that would otherwise create social anxiety.
How do you do that?
One way is to build in a bunch of memories that say:
Talking to attractive people is fun.
Being outgoing in social situations is rewarding.
People want to get to know you.
People like being around you.
Because here’s the thing:
Whatever you BELIEVE about yourself, others will believe that as well.
If you believe you suck, everybody will believe you suck.
If you believe social situations are enjoyable and pleasant, so will others, whenever they are around you.
How do you build in these beliefs?
How do you build the FRAME of a clearly self confident person?
So that just by your presence, you will BE pre-qualified?
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.