Peanut Butter Battle
Once there was a department store.
That used strange advertising techniques.
One day…
They got a new brand of peanut butter.
Both smooth and extra chunky.
The peanut butter company.
At the behest of the department store.
Decided to have a blind taste test.
Not only between smooth and chunky.
But between all the peanut butter brands.
Everything Is Rigged
But the peanut butter company.
Wanted to make sure.
Their brand of peanut butter.
Would win.
So the taste test competition room.
Was filled with subacoustic hypnotic sounds.
With powerful hidden commands.
You Love Peanut Butter
To love peanut butter.
To adore peanut butter.
To crave peanut butter.
To fantasize about peanut butter.
To dream about peanut butter.
To believe that if you eat peanut butter..
You will become rich…
You will become famous…
You will gain telepathic powers…
Pet Telepathy
Once there was a powerful psychic.
Who specialized in animals.
She would intervene.
Whenever owners had problems with pets.
To uncover unrealized potential.
To uncover unrealized needs.
One day…
She was sitting in the park.
And decided to read the minds..
Of all the animals..
What’s On Everybody’s Mind
Birds and insects.
Cats and raccoons.
Squirrels and rabbits.
She found that all animals.
Are very happy.
So long as they aren’t hungry.
Or in any physical danger.
Can You Help Me?
But one lost puppy…
Who had accidentally run away from home.
Came up and asked for help.
The puppy explained where he came from.
And how loving the family was.
Because it was a young puppy.
He couldn’t find it’s way home.
Lucky for the puppy..
Telepathic powers solve everything.
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