We Need More Flavors
There was this cereal company that embarked on a very bold marketing study.
They were intending to replicate an experimental statistical process called analysis of variance, or ANOVA.
This is where you try all the suspected main variables and create a matrix with them all set to extremes.
Cut And Paste
I saw this interesting recipe book in a used book store the other day.
The author was inspired by a children’s book where you can cut out different hairstyles, shoes, clothing, etc. and build any composite person you want.
Similarly, the recipe had a list of meats, a list of vegetables, a list of spices and a list of secondary and tertiary ingredients.
Fruit Seller
There’s this really weird guy downtown that sells fruit, but when you buy a piece he encourages you to get a free punch card.
And when you buy ten pieces of fruit, on ten different days or occasions, you get ten holes punched out of your punch card.
Then you get a special, non-fruit prize.
Roller Coaster Engineer
There’s this roller coaster engineer that was trying to create the most exciting roller coaster ever invented.
He wanted to be world famous for creating the roller coaster to end all roller coasters.
It would start off on a tall tower, like most roller coasters do.
Then at the very bottom, you’d either be directed to the left or to the right.
Right Or Left
They would use those rail switching things they have on the train tracks.
And depending on which way you’d go, you’d either be on a left handed Mobius strip or a right handed Mobius trip.
The problem was he couldn’t get the downwards speed fast enough to transverse the entire Mobius strip without the coaster falling off the tracks.
Artificial Movement
So they are going to build in inside the box, and the box itself is going to rotate, giving the riders and experience of going through several Mobius trips.
But from the outside in, it will only look like a gigantic spinning cube with a stationary roller coaster on the inside.
Finally, after getting my tenth hole punched I was excited to get my prize.
Cook Up A Steak, Bub
But he handed me a sack of charcoal, and a steak.
Which is wasn’t what I’d expected from a fruit stand guy.
Some of the recipes come out pretty good.
Hit and Miss
Others not so much.
They launched all kinds of crazy combinations of flavors, completely randomly generated, in various markets, just to see which would sell best.
They even have taste tests in their factory showroom of all previous ANOVA contestants.
My favorite, peanut butter, bacon and wasabi, didn’t make it past the first round, so you can’t buy this in stores.
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