Some of the most powerful insights are also the most uncomfortable.
Adam Smith mentioned a few hundred years ago that everybody is driven by selfish behaviors.
This can be bad, this can be good.
Really, really good.
His famous line is that the butcher, the baker, the brewer don’t do what they do out of benevolence.
They do what they do out of enlightened self interest.
They want to make a decent living.
They want to make enough money to live a good life in a good house and take care of their loved ones.
But in order to do that, they FIRST need to focus on the needs of others.
Not because this is what anybody says they “should” do.
But they do so because they know that the easiest way to make a fat living is to FIRST create things others want.
Say they make bread for example.
And they want to make the BEST bread in town.
If they do manage to do this, people will LOVE them.
Of course, they don’t give the bread away.
The must sell the bread at a profit, or they’ll go out of business.
But they people that happily PAY for the bread very much WANT to pay for that bread.
They like the bread.
They line up so they can get it hot out of the oven.
This is the insight of Adam Smith.
Enlightened overlapping selfishness.
The BEST kind of selfishness.
Unenlightened selfishness is stealing or any kind of zero sum game.
One side benefits, the other doesn’t.
But even this idea of “enlightened self interest” can be hard to swallow.
Particularly if you are coming from a naive, childhood mindset.
One that says people in the world “should” do certain things JUST because.
This feels safe and comfortable.
The idea of overlapping selfishness feels kind of scary, lonely, and if you aren’t careful, you may be left behind.
This is particularly dangerous in social situations, particularly dating.
Both team MEN and team WOMEN have an idea, or even an expectation, based on what other people SHOULD do.
What other people are supposed to do.
This is comforting, even if you aren’t getting your needs met.
It gives you a handy reason to BLAME somebody else.
To say the very comfortable modern excuse.
That it’s somebody else’s fault.
But on the other of this very hard to accept realization is something fantastic.
Once you fully accept that everybody is driven by their OWN self interest, and not any idea of what they SHOULD do, this opens up the door to an amazing amount of power.
All you need to do is frame EVERYTHING you’d like them to do in terms of THEIR self interest, and you’ve got it made.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.