If you want to have incredible persuasive power, you’ve got to have self confidence. In this article, you’ll learn how to get it.
Success is both an internal and external game. You’ve got to have solid inner game, meaning strong beliefs about yourself and your capabilities. You’ve also got to have solid outer game, meaning you can effectively respond to whatever happens “out there,” and still get your outcome.
If you’ve got solid inner game but solid outer game, you’ll walk around feeling genuinely confident about yourself, but you wont’ really know what to say, or how to say it in order to get what you want.
If you’ve got solid outer game but weak inner game, you might start off strong, but if anybody throws up any kind of rejection or something you weren’t prepared for, you’ll quickly crumble.
The good news is that inner game and outer game can feed off each other. The bad news is that weak outer game can weaken your inner game, and weak inner game can weaken your outer game.
It’s a circle, but without consistent conscious focus and right practice, this circle will not be a virtuous circle, where your self reinforcing skills keep getting better and better, but a vicious circle where you seemingly swirl down the drain of despair and loneliness.
The trick is to create momentum. Forget about those “get rich quick” scams. I know, we’re talking about persuasion or seduction here, not money making, but the mindset is the same. Endless gurus promote products that promise instant and magical success.
But you’re smart enough to know it doesn’t work like that.
Start wherever you are, and make incremental changes. Small changes. Easy changes. Then use some simple tips from self hypnosis to both congratulate yourself, and improve yourself.
Go out into the world, and attempt to get some kind of outcome that’s just barely outside your comfort zone. If you are comfortable making eye contact with women, for example, make eye contact and smile.
Don’t worry if they don’t smile back. We’re trying here to attempt an outcome.
Get a couple of results, good or bad. Or better yet, let’s not refer to them as “good” or “bad.” Let’s just refer to the results you get as “feedback.”
So the first step, once you’ve made some efforts, and you’ve gotten some feedback, is to go home. Visualize yourself making the attempt. See yourself from a couple angles. Give yourself credit. Give yourself an imaginary pat on the back.
Next, we’re going to alter the feedback. Change it slightly, so it’s a little bit better. Then re-remember the interaction, except this new memory is with the outcome coming out a little bit better.
Maybe you did something, you got some feedback, and you weren’t quite sure how to respond. In your new memory, change up your response a bit.
If you keep doing this on a regular basis, you’ll inner and outer game will consistently improve, and pretty soon you’ll be experiencing that magical virtuous circle that keeps feeding on itself as you continue to get better and better.
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