Inner or Outer?
One common debate among those who study “game” is the use of memorized patterns vs. natural game.
Or the idea of inner game vs. outer game.
Inner game is confidence, self esteem, etc.
The things you can’t see.
Whereas outer game is all the things you CAN see.
The things you say, how you say them.
All the stuff you can sort of model or “copy” from others.
However, one idea is that outer game is driven BY inner game.
So if you are ONLY copying outer game, you are missing a lot of deeper ideas.
Of course, “game” doesn’t only apply to talking to girls.
It can apply to sales, making friends, giving speeches, performing well on job interviews, etc.
Anything that is dependent on how well you present yourself.
Not Right Or Wrong
Of course, with things like giving speeches and doing well on job interviews, there is a “right” way and “wrong way.”
But with interpersonal conversations, there isn’t really a “right” or “wrong” way.
There is effective ways and ineffective ways.
Effective at what, exactly?
Of making the other person feel really good.
Of creating positive memories in their brains about you.
Thinking about this deliberately CAN be very intimidating.
This sort of feels or sounds like “seeking approval” from others.
A very dangerous mindset.
Easy Brain Hack
But there is a very useful “hack” you can use.
And that is to NOT see them as standing out somehow from everybody else.
To see them as very, very similar to everybody else.
Of course, we are all unique.
We all have unique backgrounds and futures and ideas about ourselves.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
First, see them through the filter of “sameness.”
Of one of EIGHT BILLION people on this planet trying to survive.
Trying to make enough money to have a decent life.
Trying to create a network of helpful friends.
Trying to find “the one” with whom to fight with against the world.
Leave A Legacy
Trying to create some kind of impact on the world that will be remembered.
ALL OF US have these dreams and ideas in our brains.
So consider the first interaction with them as FINDING OUT what makes them special.
Digging beneath the surface to find the unique traits about them.
Not just any random unique trait.
But the ones they really like about themselves.
The ones that make them feel really good.
Do this and they’ll adore you forever.
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