I used to do a lot of backpacking when I was younger.
When it was just two or three of us, we did pretty good time.
But somehow, as our groups were larger, it took a lot longer to go from point A to point B.
Not just backpacking, but any kind of traveling. When you’re alone, or with a couple single minded people, you can make good time. Otherwise, everybody’s agenda starts to get in the way.
Some people want to stop and rest here, others want to stop and rest there. Pretty soon you find yourself spending most of the time just arguing on what to do, rather than just doing it.
Funny thing is this can happen to single individuals. Part of you wants something, but part of you wants something else.
I really want to ask her out, but I’m afraid she’ll say no.
I’d like to take that job, but I’m also worried about leaving the comfort of my current job.
I’d like to take that new business opportunity, but I’m afraid I’ll look silly if it doesn’t work out.
The truth is that we’ve ALL got plenty of conflicting “parts.”
It’s pretty rare that we’re ever 100% congruent. There’s always part of us that holds us back.
Usually, these “parts” that want to “play it safe” are just afraid. They look out at the world through the lens of fear, and see nothing but danger. But as Dale Carnegie famously said, “If you never go out on a limb, you’ll never get the sweet fruit.”
Meaning that sometimes, you HAVE to take risks. But understanding why you’re afraid can help reduce the perceived risks.
The secret is the “meaning” you give to “events.” One person’s “failure” is another person’s valuable learning experience, which simply means that next time will be much better.
However, if you’re stuck in defining it as a “failure,” rather than a learning experience, you might be afraid next time you get an opportunity.
Having some flexibility in how you define reality can be incredibly helpful.
So when those “events” happen, you can define them any way you like.