Calibrated Words
One of the most important parts of humor is timing.
To put in the pauses in the right places, to deliver the punch lines at the right times.
It works very much like music.
Timing is everything.
Even in pure serious dialogue, timing is everything.
For example, remember when Luke and Obi Won found all the dead Jawas who sold Luke the two droids?
Luke said something like:
“If they found these guys, it would lead them back…
…home.”
That pause in between the “back” and the “home” was critical.
The pause in the line represented the “click” in Luke’s brain of how his family was in danger.
Words and Thoughts
As if he was speaking the line AND understanding the ramifications at the same time.
This is the sign of a very good actor.
Another example of a VERY well placed pause, leveraging the brilliance of timing is James Bond.
He always says his name very, very powerfully.
Bond…
…James…
..Bond.
Mastering the art of interpersonal communication requires this kind of timing.
There was a movie called “Shallow Hal.”
Early in the movie, one guy said something, and the other guy said something in response.
Slow Comeback
A hopefully witty response.
But he took a little bit too long with this witty response.
So the other character said his witty response was not nearly as funny as it could have been, since it took so long.
A LACK of timing.
This idea of timing is the reason behind the 3-second rule.
You see a lady smile at you and you’ve got three seconds to approach.
This isn’t a law.
She’s not going to start a timer and give you EXACTLY three seconds.
But three seconds is recommended for a lot of reasons.
To get moving before you talk yourself out of it.
To indicate to her, subconsciously, that you are a man of action.
To kind of put her “on the spot” so she doesn’t sit there judging you while you muster up the courage to get going.
Love On Time
To create a much more spontaneous and fluid conversation.
All based on the idea of timing.
These early conversations are often referred to as a “dance” of some kind.
Dancing effectively requires congruence.
It requires understanding the timing of the music you are dancing to.
It requires a deep and subconscious understanding of the “resonance” of interpersonal communication.
To know, and to act, without needing to consciously think.
This is why silly questions like, “What do I say to make her like me” are so ridiculous.
If you vibe with her “correctly” she’ll like you.
If you “dance the verbal dance” with her correctly she’ll like you.
Everybody will.
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Congruence
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