What is the most charismatic quality a human can have?
Congruence. This isn’t what most gurus teach, and it’s certainly not something that’s easy to define, so let’s consider it.
Whenever we humans think about something, or do something or talk about something, we are usually of many minds. Meaning we’ve got all these different “parts,” and rarely are all of these parts on board.
Let’s say you’re at a party. You start talking to an interesting person. Maybe an attractive interesting person.
Part of you wants to relax and enjoy the conversation. Part of you thinks of something funny to say, and another part worries that they might take it the wrong way. Another part may be worried about something you’ve got to do next week.
Now, most of these are deep within your subconscious, but they’re there. They come out in your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and even the words you choose.
When most of us talk to others, and there’s both something to gain AND something to lose, we’re lucky if we’re 60% congruent. Meaning 60% of our mind / body system is fully focused on the conversation and person at hand, while the other 40% is bouncing all over who knows where, worrying about who knows what.
If you’ve ever met somebody who was REALLY congruent, they were also incredibly attractive and magnetic. Meaning there was something about them that was so compelling, that so strongly drew our attention.
What was that thing? They were so focused on what they were doing, so incredibly present, that all subconscious doubt, fear, worry, anxiety was NOWHERE in their minds.
And anybody who walks around so incredibly focused on who they are talking to, or what they are doing, with such high levels of intention and attention, they are literally irresistible.
If they aren’t talking to us, we wish they would. If they ARE talking to us, it feels like we’re the ONLY person in the world. Which means that even if we’re talking about the recipe for banana bread, it’s going to be the most wonderful conversation we’ve EVER had.
How do you achieve this level of congruence and magnetism?
It won’t happen overnight, but if you choose to make it happen, it WILL happen.
All you’ve got to do is take all those limiting beliefs you’ve got about yourself and the world, and systematically get rid of them.