Bad Business Plan
There was this new buffet the opened up a few weeks ago.
I’m generally not a big fan of buffets, but this particular restaurant had spent a lot of money on marketing.
I kept getting a lot of fliers, and the prices were really low.
So low I wanted to check this out just to see what the deal was.
Curiosity Killed Somebody
This is a pretty good copywriting technique.
To make such huge claims that people decide to buy this just to see what the deal is.
To build curiosity so much you want to find out what this is all about.
Not only were the prices really low, but the pictures of the food looked really, really delicious.
Gotta See What’s Up
So I had to check this out just to find out.
And this did turn out to be absolutely fantastic.
Absolutely delicious food. Like high quality restaurant level.
But it was all you can eat, and it was only $4.99 for lunch, and $6.99 for dinner.
One of those situations where you think this is just too good to be true.
Middle Age Horror
During the middle ages there were a lot of famines.
This was before they learned very much farming technology.
And while the population did essentially triple in size, this wasn’t a steady growth situation.
There definite surges and unexpected declines.
Not Enough Food To Go Around
And in some of those situations, they had to resort to cannibalism.
There are plenty of documented cases of people digging up bodies and eating them.
And if their weren’t any freshly buried people, they would kill people and eat people just so they could stay alive.
Nobody really likes to think about cannibalism, but if you have a choice being dying and eating a dead person to stay alive, most of us would choose to eat a dead person.
I’d Never Eat Another Dude!
That’s hard to imagine now, but when you are hungry, and you are super desperate to stay alive, you’ll do anything.
My friend told me about this hospital once.
It was a weird conversation.
I don’t know how the topic of hospital food came up, like we were talking about one thing and she just decided to switch topics for fun or something.
She said there’s this hospital that is famous for the cafeteria.
Really cheap and really good.
Hey, Let’s Go To The Hospital Cafe!
So much that people go there not to visit sick people but to eat good food at low prices.
There was this huge scandal in Europe about twenty years ago.
This guy had an idea for a TV Show.
It was only on a local access TV show, long before any kind of streaming TV kicked off.
Cooking Contest
It was some kind of cooking competition show.
Or at least that’s how it started.
He kept trying different things, trying to become successful.
This was so cheap, he decided he’d just try a bunch of different things.
And he’d keep doing more of what worked, and less of what didn’t.
First he had a cooking competition.
Taste Competition
Then he had a taste test.
Chefs would cook simple things, and then people would try and guess the ingredients.
This became really popular.
After than, he figured he’d target budget shoppers.
He would give different chefs very cheap pieces of meat, and see who could make it taste the best.
Power Begins To Corrupt
Then this evolved into a show where a chef would take a really, really, cheap piece of meat, and try to dress it up with sauces and spices.
And people would try and guess the specific cut of meat.
That’s when this guy went kind of insane.
He was getting really popular.
He was getting much more popular than he’d anticipated.
Power Has Corrupted Absolutely
So he started killing people, and giving the TV chef’s pieces of dead people.
But he would cut them so they would look like cheap pieces of beef or pork.
The chef’s didn’t know they were cooking human flesh.
The people on TV didn’t know they were eating human flesh.
The viewers, which were growing in number, didn’t know they were watching cannibalism, live on TV.
Eventually, this guy got caught.
Nobody Can Know About This
They had to cover this up.
They didn’t want anybody to know how widespread cannibalism was.
How many people ate dinner while watching cannibalism.
They didn’t want people to associate eating normal food with eating dead people so they covered it up.
No Idea How They Pulled This Off
She said she didn’t know why they were able to get away with that.
Her best guess were that they had some kind of major subsidies.
She thinks maybe it was a teaching hospital, and maybe they wanted to create a super delicious cafeteria to attract high level doctors.
She told me that, and I looked at her and said:
Um, What?
“Dude, this doesn’t make any sense.”
She looked at me and said:
“I know you think I’m making this up, but this is totally true.”
Hunger Creates Bad Decision Making
They said a society is only three meals away from a revolution.
That when people start to get really hungry they’ll do anything to get food.
But at the same time, all episodes of cannibalism are always covered up.
The job of the government is to protect us, to keep us fed, to keep us safe.
Cannibalism = Government Failure
So if we have to kill and eat each other that’s a clear sign the government is not doing their job.
But there are plenty of cases where people have a choice.
Die or eat dead people.
When you have a full stomach, nobody wants to eat dead people.
Survival Instincts Are Extremely Powerful
But when you really believe that you are going to die, your survival instincts will kick in.
And you’ll do anything to stay alive.
Turns out he was using a not so well thought out marketing plan.
His plan was to borrow a bunch of money spare no expense in creating delicious food for a cheap price.
Debt Based Restaurant Plan
So it turns out it was costing him about a $150 to sell his $6.99 dinners.
Once he had built up his brand, he raised his prices and lowered his quality.
Once he did that, he went out of business.
Turns out that a debt based business model only works on some situations.
Delicious Secret Ingredient
But they did have some really, really good lasagna.
And I don’t even normally eat lasagna.
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