What’s everybody’s favorite radio station?
(what’s in it for me)
The truth about human nature is that we are always looking out for our best interests. Sure, some of these are long term behaviors, which can give the appearance of short term selflessness, but in reality we are always doing whatever we think we can do that will benefit us.
It absolutely helps not only ourselves, but society in general if we can help ourselves via helping others. this is the foundation of trade and what makes all of the wealth in society possible.
This is important to keep in mind whenever persuading something to do something. All of the high powered NLP tricks in the world won’t help unless they think they’re somehow getting their needs met.
This is the crucial difference between those salespeople that really help us, and those that just won’t leave us alone.
With this in mind, you can quickly develop some amazing personal magnetism and charisma.
All you’ve got to do is focus on the other person.
This is something Dale Carnegie taught many years ago.
If you can develop genuine interest in others, you’ll be the most sought after conversationalist around.
When you combine this with the Meta Model, you’ll be unstoppable.
The Meta Model is basically digging through their language to find more specific information.
If they say they like pasta, for example, you’d use the meta model (which is really just wh- questions) to find out what kind of pasta they like, when they like to eat it, how often they eat it, what their favorite restaurant is, how they make it, etc.
Now, there’s two ways to do this. One will blow up in your face and make you the most hated person around.
The other will make them swoon for you, and think of you when you’re gone.
It all boils down to having genuine interest.
Many people use the Meta Model to dig for reasons to “prove” the other person wrong, or to show how their view of the world is somehow “better” than the person they’re talking to.
If you have this intention, they’ll know it. Even if try and cover it up with fake interest and politeness, they’ll sniff it out and want nothing to do with you.
If, however, on the other hand, you use the Meta Model because your honestly and insanely curious about the other person, they’ll love you for it.
They’ll feel as if they’ve finally found somebody who “gets them.”
Even then, you’ve got to be careful. Don’t come on too strong, or it will feel like an interrogation.
A good model is to alternative between meta model questions, and sharing your own experience on the subject.
Try this out next time you’re having a relaxing conversation with somebody. Instead of just trying to pass the time, or trying to impress them with your mad skills, knowledge, and experience, pretend you’re a kid again, digging for treasure in your backyard.
As I’m sure you know, if you look for treasure, you’ll find it.