Rodney Dangerfield was a famous comedian.
He became mainstream way back in the movie, “Caddyshack.”
His whole bit was centered around how much disrespect he got.
He’d tell a joke, and then follow it up with his “go to” move.
He’d loosen or straighten his tie and say, “no respect…. no respect…”
Honest and accepting self-deprecating humor is pretty funny.
Because it demonstrates a much deeper sense of genuine confidence.
Most people are terrified to letting others know about their weaknesses.
This is one reason for serial monogamy.
Suppose you have some very deep and well hidden weaknesses, based on false beliefs about yourself.
And you’ve spent SO MUCH TIME building a false shell around those, you’ve forgotten they are there.
So you go out to meet people.
You present a very strong, well practiced “false” outer personality.
It’s so practiced you think it’s real.
They think it’s real.
But if you have sex, that wakes up plenty of ancient emotions.
Intimacy, affection, etc.
And you start to WORRY.
Really, really worry, that they might find out something about you.
Something you’ve almost forgotten, but not entirely.
But the closer you get to them, the more worried you get.
Then self sabotage shows up.
You subconsciously mess things up.
Why would you do this?
Must Keep Secret
If they get too close, this person you are REALLY falling for, and they outright REJECT you because of your TRUE SELF, what does that mean?
This would mean EVERYBODY would reject you for that inner part of you that NEEDS to stay hidden.
So you mess up the relationship.
Maybe by withdrawing or being distant.
Or maybe by convincing yourself that THEY are not right for you.
So you PURPOSELY push them away.
This gives you a two-for-one.
One, you keep that secret part of you hidden.
Two, is since you did the pushing, you get to pretend you are the one in control.
This is a lot of brain intensive hamster spinning.
Unconscious hamster spinning.
There is, of course, another alternatives.
Embrace those deep “dark” parts of you.
Accept them as part of you.
Admit that part of you really sucks.
Most of you is pretty awesome, but parts of you really suck.
Own and embrace all parts of you, and everybody else will.
This is why 100% congruent, self-deprecating humor is so attractive.
We all wish we could be so honest with ourselves.
We all wish we could make FUN of our deep, crappy selves.
With a little bit of self awareness, some tweaks to ancient mindfulness, you can be like that.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.