Meaning Change
Humans are super ninjas at reframing.
This is an absolutely necessary survival skills.
But like most of our other instincts, what worked fantastically backed then messes us up today.
Imagine a guy going out to hopefully meet the ladies.
He crashes and burns a few times.
If he were truthful, he would admit failure.
He would admit there are plenty of gorgeous girls are out there, out of his reach.
Things he wants, but cannot get.
This would DESTROY his ego.
This would destroy ANYBODY’s ego.
So he finds a reframe.
A very common reframe.
Bugs And Features
A common reframe that is supported by ALL KINDS of cool sounding philosophical and metaphysical memes.
So he feels better for NOT having achieved his initial outcome.
Humans have been doing this since the DAWN OF TIME.
Even before the dawn of time.
Consider that the ancient humans who had this “ego-protection” reframing instinct did BETTER than those who didn’t.
This ego reframing instincts is absolutely NOT a defect.
It is an absolutely necessary survival instinct.
But it is OUT of calibration.
So guys pretend they aren’t really interested in girls.
So they as they can keep this belief together with whatever social proof and cool sounding metaphors, they can maintain a relatively healthy self image.
But here’s the thing.
Really True?
The harsh questions everybody should maybe think hard about.
Particularly if you are in this category.
Suppose you are one of these guys.
Who have decided that the “dating market” is not for you.
For whatever reason.
Then you get a knock on your door.
It’s five gorgeous porn stars.
They say:
Hi, we’ve already been paid to film a porno next door, but the guy said he’s no longer feeling it.
Can we make it with you, instead?
Don’t worry, you can wear a mask, nobody will know who you are.
AND you can call our doctor that checked us all THIS MORNING to verify we are disease free.
AND we are all on the pill, so there is NO chance any of us will get pregnant?
What would be a response to this?
“Un, yeah, I’ve decided I’m going to, uh, go my own way, so I’m going to have to say no.”
What about people who claim money is evil, for more or less the same reasons.
Than they find a bag of money on the street.
Do they look inside, see all the money and think:
“Money! The most evil thing! I should run quickly away before it ruins me!”
But now a much deeper question.
Whose Goals?
The guy going after girls, the person going after money, WHY are they going after those things?
Because they really WANT those things?
Or they only think they SHOULD want those things?
What if you figure out what you really DO want (within the world of money and love and sex and romance etc) and take your sweet time going after it?
No hurry.
No pressure.
You’re own time.
You’re own way.
No failures, no reframes, not worries.
Just slow, steady, consistent improvement.
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