I was invited to a tarot card party by this weird lady at my toastmasters group.
She made it sound pretty interesting, so I went.
When I went, everybody was really friendly and nice to me.
One old guy got me a plate of appetizers, another lady kept refilling my drink and asking me all these weird questions.
Rich Lonely Lady
There’s this psychic that has a shop next to the barber where I get my haircut.
But I’ve never seen her with any customers, and one day I saw her leaving in a very, very expensive car.
I noticed she left the door open so while waiting my turn in line to get my hair cut I decided to go and investigate.
Make Us Some Money
I have this rather creative engineer friend that was hired by a company to try and take away market share from their main competitor.
Their main competitor is SPAM, and this other company feels they are better in every way, to SPAM.
So his job was to come up with interesting marketing ideas to sell more of this better, tastier and longer lasting lunch meat in can than SPAM.
Where The Stars At?
I went down to the library to get a book on astronomy.
I wanted to figure out how to read constellations, in case I’m ever at an outside party or barbecue and want to impress some new friends.
But while I was outside, I notice the book had a section in the back.
And the section in the back had start charts that were much, much different than the current stars in the current sky.
Then I read the footnote, and was fairly flabbergasted.
They said that back around between 1 BC and 1 AD, they had to move the Earth.
These were the same aliens that participated in the foundation of Sumer, the world’s first large society.
But it turns out our alien overlords didn’t think we were going to make the cut in the big leagues, so they moved us to a relatively unoccupied sector of the galaxy.
But the constellations before the shift were much, much different than they are today.
Since most people that buy these kinds of things were preppers, he decided to copy a marketing technique from cereal.
Cereal companies put toys inside the boxes to increase sales.
And since he figured this SPAM competitor was going to be sold mostly to preppers, he suggested putting a couple of bullets in each can of never expiring lunch meat.
I crept downstairs and found a torture dungeon.
I thought I’d stumbled upon some kind of messed up psychic serial killer, but after looking around some more, I realized this was an underground porno studio.
I guess porn stars that don’t want to be seen going into a porn studio, perhaps so they don’t blow their cover, so they go into the psychic instead.
None of the guys at the barber shop believed me.
Eventually they found out I wasn’t who they thought I was.
They thought I was some super advanced, powerfully psychic tarot card readers.
But when I told them I was invited by my goof toastmasters friend, who wasn’t at the party, everybody felt awkward.
But we ended up playing some interesting tarot card games.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.