Few people are ever 100% congruent.
Even we feel like we really, really want to do something, there’s always a small part of us that has a little bit of doubt.
Of course, if we weren’t like that, our lives would be an unmitigated DISASTER, as we’d rush headlong into pretty much every single decision without a second thought.
Even simple things like deciding what you want at your local fast foot joint can be difficult. Should I get the Cheeseburger combo or the burrito special?
I used to work with this girl who would invariably change her order when we’d go out to eat. She’d order one thing, and then when she saw what other people were ordering at nearby tables, she’d call over the waiter or waitress and change her order.
We all thought it was pretty funny, because even when we’d give her hard time about it WHILE she was ordering, she’d still change her order later on.
Whenever we’re trying to convince anybody to do anything, they’ve got the same collections of conflicting desires.
If you’re an old school salesperson, the strategy is to simply bash them over the head with features and benefits until you momentarily stun all those unstated objections long enough for them to sign a sales contract.
But that often leaves people feeling manipulated, conned, and filled with second thoughts. Not good for repeat business.
This is precisely why sales is so frustrating, and most sales positions have extremely high turnover.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Even if you never ever want to go into sales, just acknowledging that everybody you talk to is going to have reservations and doubts can make things go a lot more smoothly.
Just creating enough rapport so they’ll feel comfortable expressing their reservations will often times be enough to create just the win-win outcome you’re looking for, whether you’re choosing a restaurant or choosing your honeymoon.
To make things even easier, there’s HUGE set of language patterns to show them you respect them and their objections, all the while showing them the benefit of your ideas.