Nobody Knows Why
According To Dr. Cialdini, in his book, “Influence: Science and Practice,” whenever we choose to do something, it’s never a conscious decision.
He’s more interested in marketing than psychology.
Or for him, psychology is a means to the end of more effective marketing.
Anyhow, this is the sequence of events.
We walk into a shop.
We are “convinced” to buy something.
Those things that exist outside of us that do the convincing are unconscious.
We do not perceive or understand those things consciously.
At least while we are being persuaded.
We decide to buy something.
But that decision was driven by unconscious external triggers.
But we need a rational story to tell ourselves.
The idea of “no idea why I bought this, just seemed like a good idea at the time,” isn’t enough.
So we make up a rational sounding reason.
But then, according to Cialdini, we use that post-event, rational sounding reason to try and persuade others.
Only it doesn’t work.
Stories Aren’t Reasons
It doesn’t work because it’s a story.
A made up story to keep our ego happy.
A made up story so we can pretend we are in charge of our decisions.
This is how all decisions are made.
Unless they are specifically drawn out and specifically logical, this is how we choose to do things.
The stories we tell ourselves and others are pure fantasy.
Told ONLY to keep alive the fantasy that we are in charge of our lives.
That we are rational choosers who are immune to common marketing techniques.
That we aren’t “sheeple” like all those other goofballs out there.
Cialdini’s angle was to study all those unconscious things to teach people how to become better marketers.
But consider this other angle.
Another way to think about this common human operating system.
None of the stories we tell each other, or ourselves are true.
If you ask somebody why they did something, why they didn’t do something, why they want to do something, why they don’t want to do something, their answer will always be a story.
The real reasons we do things is ALWAYS unconscious.
It’s like asking somebody why they prefer chocolate ice cream over strawberry.
We just do.
There IS NO rational explanation for our preferences, desires, wants and fears.
So, why waste time thinking about this stuff?
Instead, worry only about their actions.
Their emotional state.
For about asking why or worse, trying to argue with their reasons.
Pay attention to what they do.
And more importantly, pay attention to what you do that makes them feel good.
And keep doing more than that.
Leave it to them to come up with a story about why.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.