Inside vs. Outside
Human nature is pretty simple from an engineering standpoint.
But looking out into the world through our subjective experience is very, very complicated.
Or it SEEMS complicated.
Part of this is our unique human ability of meta cognition.
Thinking about thinking.
Talking about thinking.
Writing about talking about thinking.
Or reading about what some guy has written about thinking about thinking.
(see what I did there??)
This is pretty cool, normally.
But when it significantly messes us up, it’s a nightmare.
Twin Demon Biases
Particularly when you add in both confirmation and hindsight bias.
Hindsight bias CAN be pretty funny in friends who fall in love.
For example, say you love slapstick humor movies.
But your friend thinks, and has said on many occasion, that they are the dumbest thing ever.
Then he falls in love.
And his new lover loves slapstick humor movies.
So he naturally loves slapstick movies.
Because love is critically important for the survival of our species, when it DOES happen, our biases conspire to make the bonds of love as STRONG as possible.
So, when your slapstick hating friend falls in love with a slapstick loving lady, his hindsight bias will re-configure itself.
So when he says he’s always loved slapstick movies, he actually BELIEVES it.
And if you try to argue with him, he might even get angry.
Because his massive collection of love instincts believe that his LOVE of slapstick movies is directly related to the health of his new relationship.
So when you try and remind him of all the times he’s been vocal about his deep hatred for slapstick movies, to him, it’s NOT about the movies.
If FEELS LIKE, to his instincts, that you are saying his new relationship is DOOMED.
A true friend would realize that because he’s in love, he will start to shift what he believes about himself.
So when he says he’s always loved slapstick movies, you’ll SAY:
You sure have!
But you’ll be thinking:
Ok, bro, whatever you say….
While chuckling to yourself.
Keeping Lovers Happy
This is how our confirmation biases work in a GOOD way.
To ENHANCE valuable things like love and friendship.
But they can also work the opposite way.
To PROTECT against dangerous things.
If you BELIEVE the world is a scary place, you’ll find it.
In the present, with your confirmation bias.
In your past, with your hindsight bias.
But there are a few ways to slowly RE-CALIBRATE both of these.
So your confirmation bias will find evidence of how positive the world is.
And your hindsight bias will find PROOF in your past, that you have ALWAYS been socially outgoing and attractive.
Just remember, both of these biases, confirmation and hindsight, work FOR you.
Not the other way around.
Negative Belief Crusher
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