Kids And Cheats
When I was a kid, video arcades were popular.
Put in a quarter, and play as long as you could.
Many games had cheats.
Of course, this was long before the Internet, so to get a cheat you had to know somebody.
Otherwise, you had to learn by trial and error.
A common scenario is a guy and a girl will be talking.
Or having a good time, or having a relationships.
Then the everything suddenly crashes and burns.
A common, and unfortunately INCORRECT response is:
I Want To Fix It
“What did I do wrong?”
As if there is a “right” and “wrong” way to create emotional feelings in somebody.
There absolutely IS a right and wrong way, but ONLY from an objective standpoint.
Relationships, friendships are built on SUBJECTIVE feelings.
Imagine if you cooked something for your partner.
Something that you wanted to be a surprise.
And you practiced at a friend’s house.
Over and over.
And plenty of people tasted what you’d cooked.
Over and over and over.
I Know This Is Right
So you KNEW it was “correct.”
But your partner didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
Sure, they appreciated the effort.
But suppose they had a non allergic, but BAD reaction to it.
So they just couldn’t wolf it down and pretend it was delicious.
So, while pushing their food around on their plate, they had to force themselves to appreciate the effort, but at the same time, use all their powers to NOT vomit on the plate.
I know, horrible and crazy metaphor.
But in this situation, you would be compelled to ask:
“What did I do wrong?”
Here’s the thing.
No Right No Wrong
You did NOTHING wrong.
At least from a subjective, internal perspective.
Between humans, when emotions are involved, there is NO “right” or “wrong.”
There are only good feelings and good responses.
And bad feelings and bad responses.
This is part of being human.
As Captain Picard once tried to explain to Data (the robot from Star Trek who wanted to be more human):
“Sometimes you do EVERYTHING correctly, and still lose.”
So, asking what you did wrong is not the right question.
What is the right question?
Improve Performance
How can you do BETTER next time?
This is why relationships are so difficult.
Everything can be going fantastic, but then you try something you ASSUME is going to work, but it doesn’t.
They you ask, “what’d I do wrong” and they don’t know the answer.
Because that’s not an appropriate question.
Instead, think in terms of what works and what doesn’t.
And REMEMBER what works.
Hacking Human Emotions
Interestingly, there IS a kind of “hack” like video games.
When you DO create a good feeling, you can anchor it.
And keep anchoring good feelings.
This will make it much easier to create more good feelings or bad feelings.
And never worry about “right” or “wrong” again.
Learn How:
Anchoring-Excellence
Learn Hypnosis
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.
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