Monkey People
Robin Dunbar, an anthropologist, is famous for a couple ideas.
One is something called the “Dunbar Number.”
The number of people we can keep in our brain.
So when we see them, we instantly remember EVERYTHING about them.
It is believed that the upper limit, or the Dunbar Number, is about 150 and is related to our very ancient maximum tribe size.
Another idea is how this is measured.
The ratio of our neocortex (new brain) to the rest of our brain.
Our neocortex handles all of our social behaviors.
His theory is that the bigger the ratio (neocortex:entire brain) the bigger our tribal size is.
For humans it’s about 70%.
Chimps have been studied for a long, long time.
Chimps are interesting because we split from chimps about six million years ago.
Social Monkeys
Chimps have hugely complex social systems.
Chimps know their friends from their enemies.
Chimps make friends and keep them their entire lives.
Chimps run all kinds of game on each other.
To compete for hierarchy, sex, food, etc.
What does all this mean?
For one, chimps use 100% body language.
Sure, there are a few chimps that have been “trained” by humans to use sign language.
But within a group of chimps, without any human interference, they are socially complex.
All without words.
This kind of destroys the idea of “knowing what to say.”
Like I’d like to approach that girl but I don’t know what to say.
Actors
Consider the actor metaphor.
A list actors vs. the bottom of the barrel actors.
They are both given the exact same script.
They both say the exact same words.
One becomes a super star.
One does not.
Why?
Obviously, it CANNOT be the words.
It’s how you say them.
The underlying energy.
Your openness, your congruence, your sincerity, your frame strength.
This is what is missing from many courses, books and programs based ONLY on “what to say.”
Learning Game
This is something that absolutely can be learned.
Practiced, improved and mastered.
All without ever needing to know “what to say.”
This is something we humans have been doing for tens of thousands of years.
Without words for millions of years before that, back when we were proto-humans.
Even better, there are countless opportunities every day to practice this skill.
The more you practice, the better you get.
The better you get, the more you’ll enjoy life.
And all the wonderful people you cross paths with.
Get Going:
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