Lost
Once I went hiking with a buddy.
A week long hike.
Part of our plan was to cut across this mountain range.
If we walked around the mountain range, it would have taken an extra six hours or so.
But if we cut across, like our guidebook recommended was possible, we’d save six hours.
He was halfway up the shortcut, and I decided it was too dangerous.
So I shouted up, “I’m going around!”
He shouted back, “OK!”
Voluntarily separating out in the wilderness was not a good idea.
Never a good idea.
Particularly back then, before smart phones or even cell phones.
I was all alone as was he.
That was a very interesting six hours.
Familiar Unfamiliar
When I finally made it around the mountain range, and into the valley where we were staying, I saw our tent.
A bright yellow blip way off in the distance.
When I saw that blip of color, I felt, very, very relieved.
Like I was back “home,” even though I’d never been there before.
This is an interesting thing I’ve noticed while backpacking.
It doesn’t take much to create that “back home” feeling.
You see a tent, your backpack, your stuff.
And your mind shifts from “being in the wilderness” to being back home very quickly.
Our brain very much likes familiar and safe feelings.
But these familiar and safe feelings can’t exist on their own.
Necessity of Spice
If you’re cooking a dish, you only need a little bit of salt.
Too much and it’s ruined.
If a movie is TOO melodramatic, it’s not very interesting.
If an action movie has too much comic relief, it’s hard to take it seriously.
A movie, filled with genuine emotions, has to be very well calibrated.
Action scenes, deep and painful emotions, the occasional comic relief.
Similarly, human conversations, at least good human conversations, go all over the place.
This shows a lot about your personality and your character.
This is something most people don’t or refuse to understand.
Humans are much more emotional resonating chambers than we’d like to admit.
The words up on top are not really the drivers of the deep, and subconscious emotional exchange.
They can be something to help you keep track.
Emotions Critical
But words themselves don’t do squat.
So if you’re asking questions about what to say, you’re missing the point.
For job interviews, for important conversations, and for strangers.
But if you learn to resonate proper emotions, they (whoever they are) will follow you.
The first step is to have a congruent frame.
The second step is to allow yourself to flow through the right sequences of emotions.
So they will FEEL your personality.
They will FEEL your character.
And be absolutely transfixed.
Learn More:
Fractionation
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