Cute Library Girl
I’ve been going to my local library quite a bit lately.
Mainly because the librarian is really cute and she is always flirting with me.
A couple weeks ago she suggested I join the friends of the library.
They were having an intro meeting the coming Saturday.
I thought it was my big chance.
I showed up, but she wasn’t there.
Where’d She Go?
I thought maybe she was shy or something.
Some other lady started talking to me.
She told me I had good energy. She wanted me to come to this group.
It sounded like some lame pick up line.
But I didn’t think she was trying to pick me up.
So I asked her about her group.
Too Interesting To Pass Up
It sounded sort of like a cult, but it also sounded like some weird network marketing scam.
That sounded pretty interesting, so I figured why not?
I told her I was interested.
She said she’d meet me at Starbucks the following Tuesday evening.
Then she’d take me to the lady’s house who was hosting this network marketing thing.
Just before we pulled up, she told me not to ask the lady about how she got the house.
Don’t Ask
She’s a widow, and it’s a long story.
Ok, whatever.
There were plenty of delicious snacks.
A lot of interesting but superficial chit chat.
Finally we went down to the basement to have the meeting.
It was an old game room, with a really nice speaker system.
Nobody Can Hear Us
I assumed the walls were sound proofed.
Then we sat around in a circle, around this big table.
Then the lady, the widow, started chanting.
The first thing it reminded me of is when you say a Rosary with a bunch of other people.
One person says the first half of the prayer, and then everybody says the second half.
Don’t Understand What I’m Saying
Except it was in some language I didn’t understand.
Not Latin, but maybe something even older.
Before I knew what was happening, I was chanting along with everybody else.
I don’t remember starting, and I have no idea what I was saying.
Then there were these kind of spirit entities surrounding the table.
Once these spirit entities showed up, they seemed to be channeling themselves through the lady, the widow.
I Guess It’s My Turn?
Then each one of us around the table took turns channeling the spirit entities.
It felt sort of like an out of body experience, like I was watching myself.
But I could also feel these entities sending their energy through me.
Kind of like I was a puppet.
It didn’t hurt, and I didn’t really resist.
It actually felt kind of comfortable.
Back To The Food
Then it stopped, and we all went upstairs like nothing happened.
Except everybody was looking at me.
Like I had done something extraordinary.
Before, they were superficially polite.
After, they were looking at me with genuine admiration.
I asked her what happened when we got back to Starbucks.
Lucky Me
She said I’d passed.
She said that you are now a channel for one of those spirits.
They are going to use you.
You will belong to one of the witches in this coven.
You will be used, by the witch and her spirit guide, to create wealth.
Then you will be killed, and the witch who now owns you will keep your wealth.
Now She Tells Me
That’s why I wasn’t supposed to ask about the widow.
That’s how she had such a nice house.
She did this same ceremony on her husband fifty years ago.
He’d worked hard, amassed a fortune, and then the spirit left his body and he died.
She kept everything.
I asked if this was mandatory.
Feet First Only Out
She told me the only way out now was death.
Until I died, my life didn’t belong to me any more.
I asked what would have happened had I not passed the spirit chanting test.
She said I would have died, but it would have looked like natural causes.
She told me when the spirits were channeling through me, it was like they were trying on a coat in a store.
Whichever one I fit the best would now control me.
Who’s My Owner?
I asked which of the witches was now going to benefit from my wealth creation.
She told me the lady that was flirting with me at the library.
I asked if I at least got to have sex, but she smiled and said no.
Pretty soon, I won’t even be aware of my actions any more.
Soon I will be a vessel for the ancient spirit working through me to create wealth for her.
Never Trust MLM People
Talk about a scam.
At least the food was good.
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