I Suck At Cooking
I like to cook, even though I mostly suck at it.
I’ll watch something on YouTube, or read somebody’s blog about some kind of recipe, and then I’ll decide to cook it a couple days later.
Problem is I don’t usually remember much of this, except the taste I expected in my mouth a couple of days ago when I first saw this.
I remember the taste I expected, but I can quite recollect the step by step instructions or ingredients to hopefully reproduce this vague memory of an expected taste.
Pet Store Magician
There’s this guy that works in a local pet shop, or big box pet store, that is supposed to be an absolute wizard when it comes to cats.
I was there, not for the pet shop, but to go into the drug store next door when I saw a woman bringing a cat out of her car.
The cat was angrier than any animal I’d ever seen, had it’s claws out and looked ready to kill anybody who got near it.
So I followed them in to the pet store hoping to get a glimpse of the magic cat man in action.
Build Me A Box
I was trying to contact this contractor to build me something, since he got such positive reviews, but when I finally got a hold of him, he said there was a six month waiting list.
I was curious about why this guy was so busy, so I started calling all of his references on his web site.
It took me a while to get the straight dope from somebody willing to let loose with the truth.
And it took me a couple more calls to verify this, but when I did, I figured I’d be more than willing to wait for six months if even half of this was true.
Wandering Around Town
The other night I couldn’t sleep, so I went walking down to my local part.
When I got close, I heard some noise, but I kept going on, just to see what was up.
At first I thought it was a bunch of kids getting higher or drinking or whatever.
But the closer I got, the more confusing this story became.
When I got within ear shot, two of the guys approached me.
They were smiling, like they were doing something kind of cool, but kind of forbidden.
Hey, Man, What’s Up?NASA Space Secrets
They took turns tying their legs to the center, and then the others spinning the merry go around to simulate negative two g on the brain.
Under this temporary situation, the human intellect not only triples, but you are open to paranormal capabilities.
They said they’d been solving problems all night.
For example, a mathematician would come up with an unsolved paradox, and think about it while they spun him around.
Then there would be a window of about a minute, after he stopped spinning.
Narrow Window of Genius
In this window, they could experience an understanding of deep and metaphysical truths unknown to most humans.
But since this window came when they were still incredibly dizzy, they couldn’t write it down.
They also told me they had to breach significant security guidelines to access the NASA data, so it’s probably not a good idea to tell anybody about this.
They just enjoyed having a small glimpse of what it felt like to experience super human intelligence.
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
They told me that this guy doesn’t mention any of this.
He just shows up and does whatever work on your house you want.
But when he’s done, the homeowners experience a significant amount of unexpected financial prosperity.
They were all a little sketchy to talk about it too much, but at the same, they didn’t want to be stingy with the good luck.
So he’s coming to my place to build me something in about six months.
This I Gotta See
I followed her to the section where they deal with cats.
The closer she got, the more the cat was ready to murder anybody within ear shot.
But once she set the cat box down in front of the cat man, the cat man just tapped the top of the box.
Down For The Count
The cat suddenly went limp.
Cat man took out the cat, cut his or her toenails and even gave the cat a bath.
The cat purred the whole time.
I wouldn’t have believed this had I not seen this.
I have about a 10% success rate with my chaotic recipe system.
This Tastes Like Crap!
The problem is I never write anything down.
This just ends up being a confusing mess.
I had no idea what I was making when I started this.
And I have no idea what this is supposed to be now.
But I do like to cook.
Even though I suck at it.
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