When It’s Easy
Imagine this crazy kind of diet plan.
You look in the mirror, and promise yourself you’ll get a six pack.
But you don’t change your behavior.
You just kind of hope for the best.
Sure, when you’re feeling it, you exercise.
But not every day.
When you’re feeling it, you eat boiled chicken and broccoli.
But not every day.
This is how people treat relationships.
It feels great at first.
They promise each other they’ll “always feel like this.”
But then they follow the “whenever you’re feeling it” model.
They are nice to each other ONLY when they are feeling it.
No Commitment
Not every day.
Most people recognize that health is important.
So they do things every day to maintain their health.
Even if they don’t like doing those things.
Nobody believes they can maintain their health by exercising ONLY when they are feeling it.
This holds true not just in relationships, but the conversations leading up to relationships.
Most people “hope” for good conversations.
Sure, if you’re active socially, you’ll tend to find a few random happy conversations.
When both you and they are “feeling it.”
This is why dating and relationships are seen as a “numbers game.”
Random and haphazard.
Unpredictable Humor
Imagine if a stand up comedian was only funny when they were feeling it.
They would get up on stage, and ONLY tell jokes if they were in a good mood.
That would lead to a very short career.
But the best comics practice their jokes over and over and over.
This makes the audience feel very happy.
Which makes the comic feel very happy.
You can treat dating, communication, and relationships the same way.
Not by memorizing lines or jokes.
But by cultivating a very specific conversational model.
Firstly, by being genuinely interested in the other person.
This is hard, but it can be practiced.
What Needs To Be Done
Nobody who has a high paying job in engineering, or math, or science LOVED the idea of studying algebra.
But they trained themselves to be interested in algebra because they KNEW what was on the other side of that.
Nobody that has a six pack genuinely prefers the taste of boiled chicken breast.
But they trained themselves to enjoy it because they knew what was on the other side of that.
Just like you can train yourself to be interested in EVERYBODY you meet because you know what is on the other side of that.
A lot of love, laughter and fun.
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