Who Invented Bowling?
Bowling is a weird sport.
A friend called and invited me to go bowling with him and a couple other friends. I hadn’t gone bowling in a while so I figured what the hey.
The bowling alley was in a mall. I hadn’t been to a mall in a while as well. So it was kind of like a trip down memory lane, so to speak.
I got to the mall and I noticed how some of the stores were gone. Some were still there, but a couple of the big anchor department stores were gone. I walked around the inside and it was kind of depressing.
After bowling I continued to wander around the mall. I guess this is a function of bubble economics. Back when the bubble was expanding, all the way back to the end of world war II, malls and retail were exploding.
The U.S. has more real state square footage per capita than any other country. And now there is way too much capacity, and it’s kind of Wiley E. Coyote when he runs off the cliff and realizes there’s nothing to support him.
Busted Stores
I found these three stores inside that had gone belly up, but some other company had come in and combined them. A kind of church. I stopped in, and inside it was like a regular church. I decided to come back to check it out. I was in a kind of depressed mood, so I figured some Jesus people might put me right.
The church was accessible from outside, so you didn’t have to wait for the mall to open to go to church. I went inside and it seemed very comfortable. Very familiar. It didn’t quite feel like a church, since the chairs weren’t quite.
The pastor was this old woman. As soon as she came out, before she started talking I felt a wave of comfortable energy spread across the crowd. It was about halfway full.
Friendly Lady
She smiled and started the service. It was kind of a rambling speech, nothing really structured and organized. She had a very calming energy.
It was like you didn’t need to pay attention to these words to feel safe.
You didn’t need to pay attention to these words to feel happy.
You didn’t need to pay attention to these words to feel uplifted.
But then something changed. The energy changed. Her expression changed. And as I look at my experience as it exists in my memory, the light got darker. I’m pretty sure some other entity came in and spoke through her.
Angry Spirit
A very angry entity. But the entity was not to punish, but to warn.
You have become too lazy. Too entitled. Too accustomed to outsourcing as much responsibility as you can. You believe every problem you have is somebody else’s responsibility to fix.
But that will end soon. In your lifetime, the world will change. Their will be a cataclysmic collapse of the global food supply chain.
Unless you live within a bicycle ride from a farm, you will starve. A time will come in the near future where global food delivery will stop.
When oil production will stop. Where the only things you will have available to you, is the stuff that is produced within ten miles of where you are right now, listening to me.
I have seen the future. I am the future. It is pain. It is agony. It is loneliness. It is death. You will either need to become a cannibal to survive, or you will be eaten by others.
Most likely while you are still alive, too weak to move, too scared to resist. The future is filled with a pain so unimaginable that when it comes, you will plead for death.
Save Me Jesus
But it will be too late. The only hope now is to get right with Jesus, so when you do die in unimaginable and ceaseless agony you might be accepted into the kingdom of heaven.
But I promise you, even if you beg and plead with Jesus now, you will not be admitted. For the pain that is coming, for most everybody, will be eternal.
Then she shifted back into her soft, sweet voice and everybody got up and left. They even had donuts outside in this tent.
I had forgotten how good bowling alley food was. In fact, we only bowled one game, but we spent a couple of hours drinking pitcher after pitcher of beer and eating bowling alley food. Pizzas, nachos, carne asada fries.
I guess some malls are completely wrecked, and they are filled with homeless drug addicts. I guess that’s what happens when you have a few decades of overproduction.
Too Much Retail
You will inevitably have to deal with all that retail space. A lot of economists say the next bit shock to the global economy will be a collapse in real estate prices.
Who invented bowling, anyway?
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