Drug Dealers
There was this drug dealer, a friend of a friend, who started dealing just enough to support his habit.
Then he started dealing enough to support his and his friends’ habit.
Pretty soon he was making a lot of money, so much he quit his job and became a full time drug dealer.
Psychic Business Model
There’s a local psychic who has a very lucrative, and very unique niche.
She only has about one client per year, and she only needs one client out of five to pan out.
She helps people buy houses, but they only buy houses that the psychic thinks are haunted.
Interesting Hobby
I met this guy at a party a couple of weeks ago, and he’s got pretty interesting hobby.
He’s got a PhD in some kind engineering, and he owns his own consulting firm.
But he’s also heavily into the occult, and has developed a way to attract entities of different sorts from other planes of existence.
He has several types of resonant organic chemicals that are infused somehow with occult energy, and these different chemicals attract different kinds of spirits.
Psychic Lecture
I saw this really fringe paranormal psychologist give a lecture about poltergeists, and why they are the way they are.
He said he developed a database of various transcripts of various human interactions, and combined this with the transcripts of various seances.
According to his records, the linguistic structure of humans that most closely resembles the linguistic communication structure of poltergeists is that of police interrogations.
Linguistic Correlation
But not all police interrogations.
The most closely associated human linguistic structures to those of poltergeist seances are roadside DUI interrogations.
Which leads him to conclude that poltergeists are a sub-category of spirits who don’t know they are dead.
Only poltergeists seem to have died when they were heavily intoxicated.
Drunken Ghosts
Which means not only at they dead, and not know it, but they are so inebriated they rarely know their location.
Which means if you happen to have a poltergeist to makes random sounds, opens random closets and doors, or starts the microwave in the middle of the night, it’s a drunken ghost.
A drunken ghost who doesn’t know where he is, and doesn’t know that he’s dead.
Chemical Applications
What he does with these chemicals is the funny part.
He has several different gels he’s created, that are highly concentrated.
All it takes if a few drops of this gel to attract the spirit the underlying organic chemicals are calibrated to.
Funny Guy
He does this anonymously, as a kind of practical joke.
He’ll come over to your house for a dinner party, spread a couple of drops of whatever gel he feels is appropriate, and next thing you know you’ve got a ghost infestation.
Sometimes they are nice ghosts, that can predict the future and help you make money in the stock market.
Sometimes these are angry ghosts that will stand there and stare at you while you sleep.
Long Game Riches
The way she makes tons of money is first she successfully helps her clients find a haunted house.
Then the couple pretends they don’t know the house is haunted.
If they ghost isn’t the shy kind, and can create some kind of evidence, the couple will get plenty of media attention.
Then they’ll write a book, and make a movie, and become multi-millionaires.
The psychic then gets a percentage.
Money Cleaning
Eventually he became so successful he needed to find a way to clean his money.
So he bought a bunch of run down apartments and cleaned his money through the renovation.
Since this would be much more difficult if he actually had tenants he had to keep them unoccupied.
So he hired paid off several paranormal investigators to do a bunch of documentaries saying the apartments were haunted by angry ghosts from murdered gang members.
That way he could grow his drug empire and continue to wash his money through these allegedly haunted apartments.
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