Cute Bookstore Girl
The other day, actually a couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out in a bookstore. It was on a Saturday afternoon. There was quite a few people and I started to flirt with this very attractive younger female that was standing a few yards away from me.
She looked at me twice. The second time she looked at me we made eye contact she smiled slightly and she looked down breaking off eye contact first. I knew this was about as clear a signal that I was ever going to get from anybody to please come over and start a conversation.
Just as I was getting ready to make my move, she made her move first. She started walking towards me, but as soon as she started walking towards me, I knew it was not just a friendly conversation. She had a sense of purpose in her stride. She had a sense of purpose in her face.
Not An Opportunity
In the two or three seconds it took for her to get from where she started to where I was I had decided that she was either going to recruit me for her Jesus cult or she was going to recruit me for her network marketing plan.
I was hoping it was more of a cult than a network marketing because it’s kind of hard to fake interest in network marketing. They ask you for money relatively early, whereas if you get hooked into a cult you can kind of fake it for a while and there are a lot of social opportunities in cults.
I was kind of hoping this was going to be some kind of a Jesus culr. So she walks up and she says, can I buy you a cup of coffee? I said sure and we walked over to the coffee shop. She told me to sit and wait. She got 2 cups of coffee. But she put down the 2 cups of coffee on the table in front of me.
Two Stage Sales Process
Then she said I want to go buy you a book and I would like you to read this book and she left. I was very very disappointed because now it seemed like this was kind of a two-stage scam. A two-stage process a two-stage sales pitch.
They would send in some young attractive female to hook some guy get them to sit down and get them to read a book and then some closer would show up to close the deal. Either close the deal for the Jesus cult or close a deal for the network marketing.
I have to admit it’s kind of a clever plan. I watched her walk into the bookstore. She bought the book she went to the front, she paid for the book she walked over with the book was inside of a brown bag so I couldn’t see the cover. She set the book down and said please read this and she left.
Here Comes The Closer
I thought this sucks. This was kind of a bait and switch. She’s gonna trick me into thinking I’m good to have a conversation with a young attractive Jesus person and maybe fake my interest in Jesus but now it’s can be some kind of a two step well thought out sales pitch.
I started reading the book and it was completely different than what I had anticipated. I took the book out of the bag and expected to read either a book on network marketing or a book on Jesus but instead the book said this is an autobiography of a serial killer.
It was written in the first person and the introduction said thank you for reading this book. This is my story about all of the people that I’ve killed. I’m writing this book because I want to brag about my exploits. I like to describe about how I’ve killed the people I’ve killed.
Wait, Serial Killer?
I wanted to share my story about how I’ve killed hundreds of people and I’ve never been caught. When I was very very young I knew that I was a sociopath. I knew that I very much would like to kill people for a living but I also knew that I didn’t want to end up in prison.
I had to devise a way to be able to kill people and not go to prison and the best way to do that was to make a deal with Satan. One afternoon while I was still in high school I summoned the dark Lord. I made a deal. He would allow me that the powers, he would bestow upon me the supernatural gift to kill people and not get caught, but I had to give him back something in exchange.
The gift that I got from Satan was the ability to transfer my memories via an unknowing third intermediary person. The way this would work I would kill people but before I would kill them I would come up with a custom-made symbol.
Confession Needed For Conviction
I would carve this custom-made symbol into their chest or their back and this custom-made symbol would be one of a kind. It wouldn’t exist anywhere else. Then I would go to confession and I would confess my sins to a priest. The priests would be horrified. The priest would implore me to go turn myself in. The priest would tell me that I still had a chance to save my soul.
I told the priest that I would do that. I would cry and beg Jesus to forgive me and the priest would believe me. I would leave but as soon as I left my supernatural trigger would fire and the priest would forget everything.
The priest would have total amnesia. The priest would remember nothing about what it happened before this. The priest would remember none of these words. The next person that would come into confession would confess their regular sins. Too much masturbation. Too much alcohol. Too much pornography and the priest would listen. Then when the priest would give them their penance he would inadvertently transfer into their mind my memory of the killing.
Confession Received
And they would have their full memory of the killing. They would remember the words the priest had told me as if he had told it to them. They would go to the police. They would confess. They would know the details of the crime and so they would be arrested.
I’ve done this hundreds of times. Because you are paying attention to these words right now, because you have taking these words into your mind, because these words are in your mind now but the things that these words describe have been forgotten, I have fulfilled my obligation to Satan. When I made the deal with Satan I didn’t promise him my soul. I promised him the souls of many others who would take my words into their minds and then forget what these words meant.
I have fulfilled my obligation to Satan because when I made the deal with him to be a world-class sociopathic serial killer with supernatural powers I didn’t promise in my soul I promised him the soul of anyone who would understand and hear these words whether they remembered them or not.
Thanks!
Thank you for reading.
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