Love Metaphors
We use metaphors much more than we realize.
Even when we talk about science we use metaphors.
If you wanted to read something written in “pure” science, it would be REALLY boring.
So any kind of science that makes it to the mainstream has been put through a kind of “science-metaphor” filter.
This is a good thing.
We are not Vulcans or robots.
We are humans.
We are humans that enjoy human things.
When you are the all you can eat buffet, and you choose the bacon over the boiled chicken breast, there is no science involved.
You look at the bacon and think, “Dude, YES!”
You look at the chicken breast and think, “Uh, yeah, uh, no…”
Even those two expressions are DESCRIPTIONS of your feelings.
Similarly when you look at a hot lady or guy across the room, you think “OMFG YES!”
On the other hand, when some weird looking guy or gal starts to approach you, with a sleazy grin and a serial killer gleam in their eye, you think:
“Dude, RUN!”
Again, these are descriptions of deeper and very instinctive emotional responses.
Love Communication
Two of my favorite rules of communication are as follows.
One comes from fiction writing:
“Show, don’t tell.”
Another comes from Dale Carnegie:
“You can get anybody to do anything if you believe it was their idea.”
Now imagine two people.
One guy really likes a girl.
The girl doesn’t know anything about him, but she’s willing to give him chance.
So she waits patiently for him to approach and show her what he’s got.
If he walks up to her and says, “Hey, you’re really pretty,” what will that do?
Likely nothing.
She either knows she’s pretty, or she thinks it’s just a false compliment that she’s heard a billion times before.
But what if he said:
Love Beginnings
“Hey, I think you and me could be great together.”
A little better but it violates those two rules.
It’s telling, and now showing.
It’s not her idea, it’s his idea.
But what if he just started talking to her?
And slid into a couple of metaphors?
Stories about a bunch of girls and guys getting together?
Something that pretty much every TV show is about?
If the stories are told well enough, they will CREATE the feelings.
Love Emotions
Just like regular TV shows create the feelings.
So she’ll start to feel the sympathetic “falling in love” feelings.
The kind people feel when watching romance movies.
And since he’s telling her a bunch of stories about friends, and friends of friends, it’s not about HER.
So he’s not telling her.
His stories are SHOWING her.
And since the feelings are coming from within her, (like they do when we watch TV) it is her idea.
But even better, walking up, being confident enough to start a conversation and tell some interesting stories is attractive enough on it’s own.
Being a decent storyteller will get you very, very far.
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