Getting A Bad Rap
A lot of people, mostly men, have been talking about something called hypergamy lately.
It’s a relatively modern term and generally refers to how women will rather have a more wealthy and powerful mate, all else equal.
It’s often pointed out that a woman will always date up, but she’ll never date down.
This is often pointed out as a negative, or at least an uncomfortable truth about female nature that must be accepted.
It’s generally not thought to be a positive trait that men enjoy thinking and talking about.
Matt Ridley wrote a book called The Red Queen, which was first published in 1993, over 15 years ago.
The book was mainly about how various primates deal with sex and male female relationships.
Most of the book was about what might be called a collection of human mating instincts.
Ancient Instincts In Modern Times
Our instincts were calibrated before modern society was invented.
Back when we had to forage or hunt for food.
Back when life was very dangerous and difficult.
Raising humans in such an environment was so costly.
The mother’s productivity was reduced for at least 5 years for every child.
Instincts Drive Behaviors
Human females who were naturally attracted to low productivity males didn’t have very many surviving children.
Human females who were naturally attracted to high productivity males did have surviving children.
Ridley also pointed out that women developed attraction instincts for SIGNS of wealth, or SIGNS of power.
The most effective sign of wealth and power back in the caveman days was social status.
Healthy Male Competition
Males would compete with one another to become more productive.
To be better hunters.
To be better leaders.
The more productive a male was, the more sexual choice he had.
The more productive a male was, the more social status he had.
A common modern psychological trait is to externalize our problems.
This is likely a positive trait that worked well in the past.
If you were hunting an animal, and you missed, it would be helpful to get angry at the animal.
This would increase your likelihood of success.
Today, like most of our instincts, what worked in the past, doesn’t work today.
Environment Is Other People
Today, our environment isn’t filled with animals we need to kill, or predators we need to avoid.
Today, our environment is filled with other people that we must interact with effectively.
Just like our hunger instinct kept us healthy back then, it makes us fat and chronically ill today.
Just like our externalizing instinct likely helped back then, it doesn’t help so much today.
Knowing is Far From Half The Battle
Unfortunately, just knowing about our instincts doesn’t do us any good.
If only knowing about our instincts helped, we wouldn’t be overweight.
We are just as driven by all our instincts today as we were in the past.
If you were man in the caveman days, the goal was simple.
Compete with all the other men to be as productive as possible.
Become More Productive
The more productive you were, the more status and sex you got.
The more productive you were, the better sex with better women you got.
You might even say that modern society was built by men, driven the competitive instinct to out produce one another.
A competitive instinct that was absolutely dependent on the existence of female hypergamy.
Female Hypergamy Drives Societal Growth
Without female hypergamy, there would be no reason to compete.
Without female hypergamy, we wouldn’t have modern society.
Without female hypergamy, we wouldn’t have developed all the modern conveniences we take for granted.
My favorite line from Ridley’s books is as follows:
We All Want What We Can’t Get
Women are driven to be attracted to wealthy, powerful men.
Men are driven to be attracted to young, beautiful women.
The problem is that most women are not young and beautiful.
And most men are not wealthy and powerful.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.