About ten years or so ago, I was in Bangkok.
I was acting like a typical tourist.
Walking around with a my guidebook, trying to hit all the recommended spots.
I was looking for the spot in the guide that recommended the river barge.
The place to get on and see some cool things you could only see from the water.
I was kind of lost, and I’m not sure how, but I found myself wandering through a kind of warehouse or something.
Some local was on the ground, putting something together.
He looked up and saw me and immediately motioned toward where I needed to go.
He had information I needed.
He knew I needed the information he had.
The “transaction,” the giving and receiving of information took MAYBE a second.
He looked up, briefly gave me the information non-verbally.
I nodded, he nodded back, and went back to work.
This is the IDEAL way to give somebody “advice.”
See somebody in need.
In need of information, or in need of assistance.
Give them the help they need, and split.
Not split like run away.
But splitting in this case, or quickly diverting your attention back to the task at hand, like warehouse guy, is POLITE.
It respects the privacy of mind of the advice receiver.
Few people, however, can give advice like this.
When most of us give advice, we tend to EXPECT at least some kind of reward.
The next idea is a very subtle point, one few understand.
Whenever we give advice from the respectful frame, where we value their privacy of mind, part of that is to allow them to give you a quick thanks.
This is human nature.
Somebody helps us, like warehouse guy helped me, and it’s EXPECTED to exchange a very BRIEF exchange.
Like warehouse guy and me.
A quick, mutual nod:
The ideal frame of helpful advice giving leaves a tiny bit of room at the END for this brief exchange.
Kind of like a tiny bit of room for cream at the top of a cup of coffee.
But here’s the subtle mistake.
Some people don’t give advice from the frame of helping others.
Some people give advice JUST TO GET that exchange at the end.
This creates an EXPECTATION of behavior FROM the other person.
This is why nice guys aren’t really nice.
AND why nice guys are usually angry.
They think they are giving an honest compliment.
But NOT because they care about the feelings of the person they are complimenting.
They do so only because they EXPECT some kind of reciprocity.
So when they don’t get it, they get ANGRY.
This is a very, very short term game.
If you help people, and leave ONLY enough room at the end for the quick exchange, this will build REAL confidence.
The more you build this REAL confidence, the more people will ENJOY your advice, so long as you let THEM determine how that “end space” is utilized.
This is the easiest way to build up the most attractive frame possible.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.