There are seven common Cialdini laws of influence that are well known by most people. The most common is something called social proof and social proof says that when a lot of people are doing something it’s going to be very hard to resist doing that same thing.
The second most common law of Cialdini is authority. This law says that whenever somebody that is a recognized public figured somebody that is a recognized authority figure, whenever they say something, it’s going to be very difficult to disagree with whatever it is they are saying.
There’s a recent study that shows that in general the older we get the more set we get in our ways. The less likely we’ll change brands, the less likely we’ll change our tastes, the less likely we’ll do anything differently unless we’re specifically doing something different just to enjoy doing something different.
Other than that, whenever we have a choice, we’ll almost always choose the familiar. This tendency to choose the familiar increases with age.
Most everybody understands the idea of rapport. Everyone can tell you why report is necessary. Everyone can explain how to get into rapport, but there’s very few explanations of what it feels like to be in rapport and I read this one recently and was very interesting.
Imagine you’re on a bus trip in a foreign country by yourself. Nobody speaks your language. The signs are all in a different language that you can’t understand and the bus trip is being led by a tour guide that is bilingual.
Dude, Where Am I?
You’re out shopping one day and the bus leaves without you and so you find yourself wandering around in the strange city having no idea where you are and no one you talk to knows how to speak English. You start you little bit worried that you might be left there forever.
I read a recent study they did to find out why people don’t crash into each other on busy streets. For example, if you look at any movie or TV show, they show people in New York. There’s always a ton of people walking in both directions on New York and most of them are staring at their devices. No one really ever looks where they’re going.
They never crash into each other. So, they set up a whole bunch of cameras to try to understand why people never crash into each other on busy streets. It turns out that as long as you are not focusing on another human, meaning that every other human in your field of vision is kind of thought to be in your peripheral vision.
Don’t Look At Them
As long as you have everyone out there in your own peripheral vision, all you need is a really three-step avoidance program. For example, if you see somebody coming towards you, if you’re three-step avoidance program is to move left to move left and then move right in that sequence, you’ll eventually avoid them.
If everyone else has the same type of three-step avoidance program, according to the laws of statistics it is very unlikely that two people will have mirror opposite avoidance strategies. This means that you’ll never crash. This allows us to walk up and down these busy streets never really look at anybody and always avoid crashing into somebody else.
This immediately stops working as soon as you make eye contact with another person. As soon as you make eye contact with another person you automatically get into rapport with them, which means you shift from using your avoidance strategy to mirroring and matching them.
Because you’re in rapport there’s going to be a leader and there’s going to be a follower. Whatever decision the leader makes to avoid the other person the follower is going to mirror them. No matter who you are the leader or the follower, you’re going to be essentially trapped in this quick instantaneous report with a stranger on the street.
This feels very uncomfortable when it happens. Both of you want to avoid the other person, but as you suddenly start to mirror each other you start to do this very strange dance with the stranger on the street. You almost have to grab each other and push each other away to keep walking.
This is an indication of how quickly and how strongly even strangers will get into rapport with one another. It all starts with making eye contact.
Hey! I Know That Dude!
If you imagine you’re walking around this busy street and everyone is speaking a different language, imagine if you saw somebody wearing a T-shirt that had the name of your hometown and imagine that T-shirt also had the name of your high school. Even if they didn’t look like you, even if English wasn’t their native language, if they could speak English and you asked him how to get back to the bus how to get back your hotel, they would write down some instructions.
Simply because they had the name of your hometown and your high school on their T-shirt, you would have an instantaneous deep amount of rapport with that person and you would take whatever information they gave you without question.
This is how powerful rapport is. If you can create rapport and you can give other people information they will take that information without question.
Familiarity Increases With Age
The reason that we like familiar things is because it spends a lot less brain energy. The older we get the more we like to rely on those familiar things because we need less and less brain energy the more and more familiar they get in this just naturally increases with age.
If you look in any kind of advertising you’ll see both social proof and authority being used. One of the most powerful ways to persuade anybody to do anything is to combine authority social proof and slightly increasing scarcity.
If you can combine authority social proof and slightly increasing scarcity what this will develop is the fear of missing out.
Get Some! Get Some!
It feels like you’re standing on the outside everybody else is getting something. The authority figures are talking about how great this thing is. If you add increasing scarcity to the mix it will feel very much like you need to take action now before this is all gone.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.