New Lady at Toastmasters
A new woman came to my Toastmasters recently. She’s a very interesting combination or she has a very interesting combination of both confidence and anxiety. When she talks about normal things she’s very very confident, in fact she’s the most confident person I’ve seen in a very very long time.
Then when we asked her why she came to Toastmasters she talks about her new job. When she talks about her new job she seems to be very very nervous, like a normal person would when they’re about to give a speech at Toastmasters.
Her old job was at a gigantic law firm downtown that represents mostly fiction writers. Just like the Pareto principle would predict, 80% of their business comes from the top 20% of their customers. Those 20% of the customers 80% of that business comes from the top 20% of that business so you end up having 4% of your customers bringing in more than half of your business.
Fast Track To Success
This woman had worked at that law firm ever since she graduated from college. Her dream ever since she was in high school was to become an attorney. She thought that when she joined at this law firm she might become partner someday. So when they hired her straight out of law school they told her what she needed to do to become partner.
Just before she was about to become partner and older attorney, an older female attorney took her aside and gave her a very stern warning about her future. One of the most popular writers that law firm represents rights a lot of children’s stories.
She writes stories that have big pictures and big words. She writes stories that have little pictures and little words. She write stories for young adults that have no pictures and very little and very many words. The most popular story, one of her popular stories that she is working on right now that she is hopefully going to get a film deal is about a young princess.
Very Powerful Kingdom
A young princess in a very very powerful kingdom surrounded by other lesser kingdoms. This kingdom, the most powerful kingdom and the other lesser kingdoms that are surrounding this larger more powerful kingdom, have been in a friendly coalition for many generations.
They have a lot of trade agreements. They have a lot of mutual protection agreements. All of their citizens are people that live in the kingdom are very happy everyone loves the royalty. Everyone loves the kings and queens. This Princess was not happy because she was the youngest of two siblings.
Her older brother was going to inherit the throne and she didn’t think that was fair. As it stood she was to be married off to a Prince of another kingdom. She would eventually be queen of that other kingdom but she didn’t want to be queen of another kingdom. She wanted to be queen of this kingdom.
Wants More Power
She wanted to be queen of the most powerful kingdom. So before she was married off to a Prince of a lesser kingdom she started all kinds of under the table behind the scenes manipulations that would cause strife in her kingdom. Her plan was to cause events to unfold so that her older brother would fall out of favor with her father and she might assume the Queenship of that large kingdom.
Unfortunately, once she started her behind the scenes machinations they quickly spun out of control. Civil War started. There was strife. There was unhappiness in the peasants. By the time these machinations reached their climax the father and the son were at Civil War with one another. They essentially split the kingdom into fighting over the throne and they eventually killed each other.
This of course led to this Princess to assume the throne. By the time she assumed the throne she was queen of a broken country filled with angry and broke peasants all who felt mistrust not only for the other kingdoms around them but their own queen.
At What Cost?
When she finally achieved what she wanted, her heart had blackened and hardened. She could no longer feel compassion. She could no longer feel love. She could no longer have an open and honest relationship with anyone. All she felt was hatred. This was the cost of her desires this was a cost of her ambition.
When this older attorney brought the woman from Toastmasters aside she said you have to be very very careful if you choose to become a partner. If you choose to become a partner you will be working 60-70-80 hours a week for the foreseeable future. She explained that she was in her late 40s and by the time she reached 35 and became partner she was so cynical her heart had hardened so much that it was impossible for her to have a happy relationship. A normal relationship. A vulnerable relationship.
She had chosen to become a partner. She had had a dream of becoming a partner when she was in her young 20s. By the time she got part of it was too late for her to have a family. Her plan was to become a partner first to take care of her career first and then have a family second, but she realized too late that by the time she had established her career she had become too cynical for relationship. Her heart had hardened too much to have a relationship.
Old Bitter Wealthy Powerful
She was old. She was bitter. She was angry. She was lonely. She was powerful and wealthy but those were the only two things that she had. Everything else about her life was absolutely miserable. She strongly cautioned this woman to check her desires. Check her assumptions. Check her priorities and ask yourself what she wants to do in her life.
If she pursues power and wealth she will almost guarantee herself to never ever have a happy open relationship with anyone. She told her you should think about this very very carefully. You should think about this very very deeply. You should think about what you want because almost certainly if you chase one thing you cannot get something else.
After much thought she decided to quit her job. She got a job in marketing and she was starting all over again in her late 20s. She was very glad to finally be in a place where she could live a normal life.
New Chance
She was confident because of her experience in the law firm but she was also a little bit nervous whenever she talked about starting her new career in marketing.
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