A couple of weeks ago I went to one of those big bookstores nearby my house. Where you have a coffee shop and plenty of books inside. They have a lot of those nice easy relaxing chairs that you can slink into when you read your book.
I was wandering around and I saw sales book. The sales book I recognized from being on the New York Times bestseller list and was written by a very famous motivational speaker.
Because I’m always interested in seeing if there’s any new sales technology out there I’m always interested in reading sales books. I bought this book. I bought a large mocha coffee and I found a nice easy chair to sit down into.
I started reading the book and only took me about a third of the way through the book before I realized, much to what I had expected, that this sales book was very much like every other sales book out there especially the sales books that are written by the super famous motivational speakers.
Most sales books are really just a kind of rehash of all of the same sales techniques from way back in the 50’s. They just give them a different name and they added a whole bunch of clever anecdotes. In this particular book that I was reading about every other paragraph it was kind of a soft sell for this guy’s seminar which was about $1 million for a weekend.
I was reading this book and this really weird guy came and sat down next to me. He was weird because he just started talking to me as if we were best friends.
He was talking to me as if we were best friends and we been having a conversation for the past five minutes. It was kind of like if I was watching a TV show and I unexpectedly fell asleep and then I woke up an hour later in the middle of a different TV show. I would imagine if I did that the first minute might be filled with complete discombobulation as I tried to realize what was going on.
That’s the kind of same discombobulated feeling I felt when this weird guy started talking to me because he just talked to me as if I expected him or anticipated him. He told me he came up to be because I was reading this sales book.
Familiar Start To A Familiar Story
He told me that when he graduated from college he had a degree in business and he liked the idea of going into sales because if you go into sales you can make a lot of money but the problem is if you’re going to be good in sales if you want to learn sales if you want to make a lot of money you have to put up with a lot of rejection.
He was having a problem like most salespeople do with rejection. He decided to go to this experimental hypnosis regression seminar. They would regress you all the way back to when you were a child.
The theory goes that all of our limiting beliefs, these limiting beliefs that keep us from being able to make a lot of money in sales. These limiting beliefs that keep us from being able to seduce anybody we want. The same limiting beliefs that keep us from being able to start relationships with anybody we want to.
These limiting beliefs were programmed into our brains long before we knew how to speak. They exist in our brains below the level of language and so in order to go back to that level of brain before the level of language you have to regress all the way back to being a child.
Get Below The Language
The first two days of the seminar, the students would write out the beliefs they would like to program and then they combine these beliefs using a Pavlovian anchoring system to certain tones that they would play.
After two days of programming these beliefs they would attach these beliefs to these different tones they were ready to go down into their pre-language regression state. They all went down into this pre-language regression state and they would play these tones.
Because of the Pavlovian anchoring process they had already done would establish these new beliefs and their brain at a pre-language ability and then on the third day of the seminar they would bring everybody back up to their normal state with their new beliefs written beneath their language state.
But the problem was this particular guy made the mistake of thinking that it would be a good idea to remove all social fears. Once you remove all social fears a lot of interesting problems pop up that you wouldn’t normally anticipate.
Need To Have Relatable Fears
For example if you do want to sell stuff to people, if you do want to make a lot of money, if you do want to seduce anybody you want to, you need to create rapport with them. To create rapport with them you need to see their own anxieties and fears and limiting beliefs from inside of their own perspective.
You need to literally get into their world and see and feel things from their perspective and then once you see and feel things from their perspective you can easily get them to do anything you want them to.
You just need to explain it to them in terms of how they see the world but if you remove all your social fears you can’t do this because in order to feel other people’s levels of social anxiety and an limiting place you actually need to have that social fear capability yourself.
Without any social fears whatsoever you cannot resonate with other people. Even worse is everyone has a desire for money, but this desire for money has two components. One is we all love the idea of being rich and even more we are all terrified of being poor. Once you remove all of your social fears you lose your fear of being poor.
Fear Of Being Broke Is Helpful
What happened to this poor guy, even though he had just graduated from business college, even though he was starting off and doing really well in sales, he completely obliterated his ability to feel any kind of social fear.
He also absolutely destroyed his fear of being broke, so he had to move back in with his parents. He would just wander around and start conversations with people without feeling any kind of social ineptitude at all which made him a very very strange individual.
I had a make up some kind of excuse to get away from this lunatic. I told him I would be back in a minute, I had to do something and I left that bookstore as quickly as I could.
This is the danger of thinking that you need to remove all of your social fears because many of our social fears are absolutely necessary if only to be able to resonate with other people. To see other people’s perspectives to feel their own perspective on their subjective level of social fears so you can help them get over there social fears.
Because if you could do that, you really can convince anybody to do anything. If you can do that, you really can make a lot of money in sales. If you can do that you really can seduce anybody want to. If you can do that you really can start any relationship with anybody.
Embrace Fear – Yours And Theirs
That requires that you get comfortable with your own social fears and that you learn to calibrate your social fears to the level of the subjective level of other people.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.