I have this interesting friend who lives next door. Interesting couple who lived next door. They’re pretty old, they have a few grown children who have moved out. They have a really interesting relationship.
On the surface it seems like they might hate each other. They’re always giving each of the most vicious insults. You can kind of tell that underneath that they really really care about each other. They would die for each other they would kill for each other they would help each other bury bodies if they had to.
One day I was out front and I saw the guy mowing his lawn and had this kind of a weird grin on his face so I asked him what was so funny and he said he had a interesting story to tell me if and if I would wait for him to finish you’d be happy to tell me.
Come On In
I stood and I waited and he finished mowing his lawn and we went into his garage, sat in a couple folding beach chairs, he got a couple of drinks and he said he had heard from a friend of his who is a therapist.
He didn’t tell me where this guy was a therapist he just said that they been friends for long time in this guy sometimes shares some of the most interesting stories with him and this was one of those interesting stories.
Apparently this guy came to see his therapist after he had pretty much destroyed his life. Like most people, the therapist tells them that most people may come to see a therapist is a little bit too late.
Ounce Of Prevention
It’s very much a case of an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure but most people don’t want to realize there’s a problem until it’s too late and all they can do is try to apply a pound of cure but that’s too late and this case was no different.
This guy was a normal guy, he had a pretty good job, he was an engineer he was kind of a scientifically brained type of person, not very emotional but he made a lot of money and he had a decent relationship with a decent woman.
She worked part-time. She enjoyed her job, they decided not to have any kids. They were both okay with that, they had been married for about 10 years and everything was going fine until this guy suddenly started to believe that his wife was cheating on him.
Seek And Ye Shall Find
The more he thought about it, the more he started to find evidence because you know how confirmation bias works. When you start to assume something is true you’ll find evidence that verifies that thing is true even if it’s not true and so.
He had this plan because he was kind of a scientifically minded person he had a plan to find evidence and confront her with the evidence. Take the evidence to an attorney and then make it impossible for her to argue in her favor.
He was afraid that if he brought it up first she would effectively argue against her having an affair. He would be able to prove the incident having evidence in since she knew he suspected she was having affair she would just continue to have an affair but be a lot more secretive about it.
PI To Find The Truth
So he hired a private investigator to follow her for a month to find evidence. This private investigator, he told him he said, I’m certain my wife is having an affair, here’s a months worth of pay ahead of time and so the private investigator started following her.
But after the first week he was convinced that she wasn’t having an affair because as a private investigator he’s very very skilled in finding cheaters and finding people that are cheaters since most of the people that hire private investigators are finding them to spy on their spouses and this guy knew right away that this one was definitely not having affair.
She had a normal life she had normal friends she what normal places and she was definitely not having affair and after the month was up he told this guy this but he didn’t believe him he had spent that whole month convincing himself that she was having an affair convincing himself even further that she was having an affair.
Look Harder, Dude!
He did not want to believe the private investigator. He said here’s another two months worth of pay, in fact I’ll double your salary for the next two months ahead of time. You have to find evidence that she’s having an affair and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. The private investigator was certain that she wasn’t having affair.
From his perspective this was two months of easy money and so he kind of got a little bit lax in his spy techniques. She noticed that he was following her but she didn’t say anything for a couple of weeks until she was sure that he was following her and when she confronted him about him following her he knew he had to come up with a very believable lie.
He suspected that she had been seeing him following her for a while before she confronted him and he kind of came up with a lie on the spot he had to make up a very believable lie on the spot that would cover him following her not only in the past but in the next six weeks could see was already paid and he wanted to take guys money not follow her.
Um, I’m, Uh…
He came up with the lie that made it believable for him to be in the same places that she was for the next six weeks. The problem was they started to see each other for the next six weeks he started to hang out together for the next weeks weeks.
She started to develop feelings for him. When the six weeks was coming to an end she explained to him, she said look I need to tell you this, I have a husband but I think I’m going to get a divorce. I don’t want to start anything with you until I get a divorce first. I’m not the kind of person that will cheat on a relationship.
I think that’s a abbhorant behavior and so if you want I’m going to divorce my husband I’m going to divorce him whether you get together with me or not but I just want to let you know that if you feel attracted to me like I feel attracted to you I need to divorce my husband first before we do anything.
Wow. Now I Feel Bad
This made the guy feel incredibly guilty and he said are you absolutely certain that your divorce her husband no matter what? She said yes I am and he said well, I have to tell you the truth and he explained to her who he was and why he had been following her.
This only made her more certain that she wanted to get divorced from him. Now she realized that he actually believed he actually believed that she was cheating on him and she didn’t really like that at all since she thought that was abbhorant behavior and so that just made her want to divorce him even more. She divorced him, she didn’t explain the fact that she was interested in the PI.
She divorced him. They split amicably. They went through the divorce rather quickly. They got a couple of attorneys in the splitting up and after the divorce she got together with the PI. The PI felt guilty so he returned all the money to the guy. The wife and the PI lived happily ever after.
This husband felt like a complete and total chump, because as he kind of discovered while he was describing all this to his therapist, had he just talked to her in the beginning he probably could’ve saved this marriage. Because he was so certain that she was cheating he essentially created that outcome. He had a fear and he did behaviors which made that fear happen.
That’s kind of a very common behavior according to this guy’s therapist and so he started laughing as he finished up the story and he said it’s funny how humans are masochistic. We always do things to punish ourselves like we can’t stand to be happy. We have to do things that make our own lives miserable because we don’t think we believe we should be happy.
Married To An Idiot
Right when he said that his wife walked in the garage and said your god damn right! Otherwise why would I’ve married such an idiot like you! This guy just laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
Mind Persuasion has plenty of books and courses to teach you how to speak hypnotically and persuasively.