The Most Powerful Skill
Rapport is extremely powerful. The more rapport you have the less you need any other sales techniques. The problem with rapport is that it is very easy to forget.
The reason it is so easy to forget is because everybody knows about it and it is so easy to learn. So, when you learn rapport, when you find out how easy it is to create rapport, you think that you don’t need to think about.
The problem is, if you don’t consciously remember to create rapport, you won’t get any sales. If you don’t remember to create rapport, you won’t be very persuasive. If you don’t consciously remember to create rapport, you won’t be very seductive.
Slip Down The Sales Funnel
A very common sales technique is something called a sales funnel. Sales funnels usually work in the following way. You’ll be intrigued by a particular product. It will sound kind of compelling and it will only cost like three dollars.
You think to yourself, “This is only three dollars! Why not? I’ve only got three dollars to lose! Even if the product does half the stuff it promises, I’ll come out ahead!” So, you buy the product for three dollars. Then a week later you get another advertisement from the same company for another product it’s $15.
This one sounds a lot better than the previous product. You figure, “Hey, I bought the last one and I didn’t get ripped off. I might as well buy another one.” Then a week later you get another advertisement for another product from the same company. This one is $49. And you think, “Wow I’ve already bought two products. I might as well buy one more!”
Biases About Biases
Humans have a lot of biases. These biases are kind of like filters that keep us from seeing certain things. They help us to find other things. Some of these biases are more complicated. They involve how we view our own history and the meaning that we give to our own history. One of these is called the fallacy of sunk costs.
It helps us to take something that might otherwise be a negative label about our personality and flip it around into a positive label about our personality. Just like companies that make software we are very willing to turn a bug into a feature every possible time that we can.
That means we can take a weakness and convince ourselves that is not really a weakness it’s really a strength.
Hey Old Friend!
Most people have a relationship with at least one person in their life that they’ve known for a long time. A relationship that goes so far back that once you see this person, you fall into a very quick and instant rapport. You don’t need to spend any time catching up, even if you haven’t seen this person in 20 years.
As soon as you see them, you click right back into your old familiar friendship feeling. Under this the connection, under this strong amount of rapport, if they were to suggest something to you and you accepted it you would later remember that as your own idea.
If you are to suggest something to them and they would take your suggestion they would later remember that as their own idea. When you can create this much rapport with other people, there is so much overlapping ideas about your beliefs your models of the world your desires your fears.
Shared Brain
There is so much overlap that it’s hard to distinguish between your ideas and their ideas. They’ll come up with a conversational topic and you’ll start talking about the topic and you can later remember that as being your conversational topic.
It’s almost as if when you create that deep level of rapport you have kind of a shared brain. If you can learn how to create this deep level of rapport with people within a few minutes of meeting them you can give them ideas that they will later remember as their own ideas.
If you can learn to create this deep level of rapport within just a few minutes of meeting somebody you can give them any idea you want to. Any suggestion you want to. Any recommendation you want to and they will later remember those as their own. This means there will be zero resistance which means you can essentially get them to do anything you want.
Long Term Investor Origin
A fantastic example of the fallacy of sunk costs is in investing. If you bought a stock at $100, and six months later the stock is now at $90, it’s obvious that making the decision to buy that stock was a bad decision because now it’s six months later and you’re down 10%.
Not only are you down 10%, but you could’ve bought a stock that might’ve gone up 10% or 20% or 30%. From a purely rational standpoint, this was an investment mistake. Most humans do not like to admit they made investment mistakes.
That makes it feel like they’re admitting that they suck at making money. Nobody likes to admit that they suck at making money. So they take this negative and flip it around into a positive. They say I am a long-term investor. I don’t jump in and out like those day-trading idiots.
Long Term Equals Better
I’m more conservative than that. I think in terms of long-term. Of course these are all lies that you tell yourself that are based on the fallacy of sunk costs. That you’ve already put so much into a situation you might as well keep going because after all you’re not a quitter like those other idiots.
The reason sales funnels works so well is because they are based on the Cialdini law of commitment and consistency. They have done test after test after test and if you want to convince anybody to do anything you first get them to do one teeny tiny part of that.
Then the next thing you ask them to do is a slightly larger piece and then the next thing you ask them to do is slightly larger and pretty soon you’re getting them to buy larger and larger purchases. Any company knows it’s much easier to create new products and sell them to existing customers than it is to find new customers for existing products.
I Already Know That
One of the common mistakes that people make when they think about rapport is that rapport only exist in terms of body language. Once people learn that you can create rapport by mirroring and matching body language they think that’s all there is to it.
But there’s a lot of different kinds of rapport. There’s conscious rapport. There’s unconscious rapport. There’s body language rapport. There’s conversational rapport. There’s mental idea rapport.
If you can understand all of these different levels of rapport, you realize that there is no limit to the strength of rapport you can build. The stronger the rapport you build with other people the more you can get other people to do what ever you want regardless of what those ideas may be.
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